19 November, 2019

It's Back! And I'm not Ready. ㅠㅠ

"Adulting? Ugh."
You know what I hate? Job searching.

The process itself is straight forward enough.

1) Look at vacancy/job announcements
2) Submit a resume to the hiring official
3) Go to an interview
4) Get a job

Straight forward, right?

And yes, I do know it's a bit more intricate than just those 4 steps, but that's my point. In and of itself, the whole process, if you were to be selected, can be boiled down to these 4 steps.

However, what makes the process an Everest to traverse is the fact that these 4 steps have SO. MANY. SUB-STEPS.

1 - Look at Vacancy/Job Announcements
Yes, you're looking at job postings, but what on Earth are all these acronyms? Who can understand your acronyms? People who already work for you?

But what about the new talent you want to hire?

These acronyms may mean something to them, but let's be honest, we shouldn't be relying on possibilities. Only certainties. And I am certain that not everyone who looks at these job announcements knows what your alphabet soup means.

Let's also not forget that we have to check if we even qualify for the position. Some of these postings should just say what they're not looking for. It would make the whole process a lot easier.

After wading and filtering through all these job postings, hopefully transcribing the duties correctly sans a Rosetta Stone, and almost 100%, but it's more like a solid 83%, certainty you qualify for the position, you pull out your resume.

2 - Submit resume to hiring official
Oh no, wait.

You can't submit your resume. Not with it looking like that!

You gotta tailor it for the that job or that company of that astrological sign of the cat two countries over who hasn't been born yet.

What?

Exactly.

Since no one really knows what they're doing with their resume; they go to an 'expert' or someone who's more experienced in the job searching life and ask for help.

One person will say, "whatever you do, stick to one page".

Okay, fine.

Another will say, "be detailed, but curt. Just don't leave anything out".

...sure...alright...makes sense?...

And then, my favorite, "just write one full master resume that is completely detailed down to when you take a breath during work, so you can then just make a one-page, detailed, but curt resume for whatever position you're applying for".

...

Oh! Ohhhh! And let's not forget, "oh, you mean you're not [whatever position the person assumes you're applying for or may be better suited for]? Then you have to follow completely different rules!"

*flips a table*

Step 1 already had your questioning the meaning to life, but hey, just in case you were still feeling confident, your resume will be sure to solidify your self-doubt.

But okay, you have your resume as good as it's going to get. And it looks pretty impressive, that you very much. You ask how the company would like for you to submit your resume, and they ask you to rewrite it into their own application system and reiterate everything you just put your blood, sweat, and tears intro.

This step is one of the hardest steps to accomplish. Because whether you qualify for a position or not, you can apply for it regardless. You can always make it to step 2.

However, getting pass step 2 to step 3 requires your step 2 to be executed to the hiring official's liking.

Note: I did not say 'perfect'. Only, to their liking.

Say, you nailed it, and you got a phone call or email saying, "congrats boo-boo, we wanna talk to you!"

(I am well aware no hiring official will contact you in such an unprofessional manner, but clearly this whole post has included a comedic element to it since the beginning, so deal.)

3 - Go to an interview

Oh dear lord.

THE INTERVIEW.

And not the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco.

I think the hardest part about step 3 is remembering that you've alraedy proved yourself in some way to the hiring official. Be it that you wrote your resume in a way that mattered or something else, something stood out. The official is interested.

They swiped right on you.

You matched.

And oh my god they even contacted you for a date.

Not only are you flipping out that you were selected, you have to pick out an outfit, figure out how you're going to get to the interview, figure out your personal life, and try not to sound full of yourself.

Ugh.

Yes, the interview is about me, but also no.

If you're like me,you're hella nervous and you forget everything. You forget what three words best describe you, where you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, and second guessing if you'd even be good at this job.

Again, you were like 83% sure you qualified and even thought the cat from two countries over wasn't born yet, your guessed Pieces.

Thus, the interview blurs by and you hope you sounded like ah educated professional you know you are. Whatever happens now...it's officially out of your hands.

4 - Get a job
If you made it this far, not having to restart because you didn't hear back or decided the job didn't suit you or the company told you 'mmm, let's just stay friends', then we still ain't finished.

You get the offer, but you have so much flying through your head!

What do?

Do I need to respond now? Do I even want this job? Do I have to relocate if I do? Am I paying for my relocation? What was this position's duties even about? Can I get a raise?
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Look, the point I'm trying to make here: I've begun job searching.

Again.

#SaveOurToya

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