How's Iowa?

What I see when I'm walking into work

It's good. I've been here for three weeks and I haven't had much room to complain. Except for the cold. I'm not sure how I'm gonna do come winter time, but that's for future!Toya to figure out. Right now, I'm enjoying the first touches of spring hitting the area. I can't wait to see life take a new breath this year.

Yesterday alone I saw downtown come to life as people were out and about, seeing the area, enjoying good food, and even going on bike rides. Seeing the happy cyclists is urging me to buy my own bike!

In fact, I have so many plans going in and out of my head that I've begun to overwhelm myself with everything that I want to do and feel frustrated that I can't do it. The impatience I feel right now...I can't recall a time it's ever been this bad.

My home~

This new life I'm leading is nothing like the other times I've had to start over somewhere new. Thanks to my parents, I'm no stranger to it. I've lived on three different continents in four different countries in my 26 years, but I've moved a lot more than that. I'd have to say that I've moved about 10 times, but this latest move has me in a jumble of wants and needs.

But my training at work leaves me exhausted and unwilling.

And there had been the jetlag....

And the no furniture for two weeks....

And my parents visiting....

And the whole 'moving so you're gonna spend a lot of money and should be aware of how LITTLE you have for play time'...

I suppose I should be thankful that my training is telling me to 'calm down'. It has allowed me to get all of the necessary adulting in order. Like my license plate, driver's license, my bills (so pricey!), and establishing my work schedule.

My first view of Iowa

Getting my routine down has helped settle me into my new place better than anything else. It's allowed me to ignore the ache in my heart up until very recently.

In the last 48-ish hours, I've come to the jarring realization that I left a piece of myself in Korea. The part of me that felt like I came home to a place I never knew was...well, home. During my time in Korea, I never felt the culture shock we were told to keep an eye out for. I felt at home almost immediately.

And at that time, I barely knew a thing about Korea except my favorite kdrama and singers.

It's no surprise that after living there for a year and a half that a piece of myself stayed behind.

But you know what else? This isn't the first time I felt like a piece of myself was left behind in a far away land. The first time was when I left Germany, and every time after.

Maybe that's why I cling so tightly to my German heritage when I'm in America. Why I refused to lose my German even a little bit. It's been a long time since I lived in Germany, with only a couple visits back, but it's easier on me to be away. Those departures came knowingly, not abruptly like it did for me to move here.

I found out I was leaving Korea a week before it happened. I didn't have time to prepare myself or even acknowledge that I left. This disconnect is a lot more sensitive...raw.

That being said, I am still looking forward to this new journey.

#SaveOurToya