Big Decision are BIG

I'm about to make one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make.

This morning, I saw an email in my inbox that told me I had 24 hours to make a decision. Not a lot of time, and I doubt I'll have some saving grace like they do in the movies.

Yesterday, I was ecstatic.

Today, I'm troubled.

Or...at least I was.

I hope no one at work can tell that I was crying this morning.

I really, really hate decisions like this. You know, between the rock and the hard place...it's not a fun place to be.

But it's the place that I'm in and it's a harsh reality that took me blind this morning. I didn't know which was up and down. My head was saying one thing and my heart was tugged between two other things, not even in the mood to listen to my head. And the whole time, the rest of my body went through it's morning routine.

Get up.
Get dressed.
Morning walk.
Get ready for work.
Eat breakfast

After I finished eating, I recognized I was about to fall into a panic attack. I found it in myself to reach out to my friends first.

My first phone call helped calm me down.

After that, my dad called. (At some point, I had informed my family.)

And during that phone call...I began to cry. I couldn't hold it back. My body was reaching critical levels and was already beginning to shut down. It was not having this.

Yet...my dad was able to get me thinking straight again. His calmness and perspective restarted my systems or rebooted them. Whatever you wanna call it, I was no longer crying over my phone curled up on the floor of my kitchen.

We made an outline of what needs to be done.

A game plan.

Even though I still feel raw and not 100%, I know the decision I'm going to make.

Unfortunately...that decision will leave me in tears as well.

#SaveOurToya