To be or not to be....a Vegan...Again

That is the question.

And while I try my hand at a Shakespearean level dictation, and fail miserably, my question is no less lacking.

Am I ready to be a Vegan again?

Or...should I really be asking myself, am I ready to move on from what I've become.

When it comes to food, I've had an on-again, off-again relationship. It doesn't hurt that the Tinder for dining is so accessible. Grubhub, UberEats...

Don't tell me you don't get tempted by other options as you swipe through your options of what or where to eat. It's not like you'll feel any shame when the food comes to you or while you gorge out on delicious potatoes and scrumptious naan. And when it's all said and done, not only did you eat well, you didn't have to go out into the world to get it.

It's so nice!

It's so tempting!

It's killed my self control.

What little remaining self-control I had disappeared in the last week.

Since coming back to America, I have gained 20lbs (10kgs). I worked hard on losing the weight to begin with, I finally felt all the guilt from earlier knock me right off the scale.

"Oh nooo," I told myself when those guilt-fed numbers flashed laughingly at me. "Something has got to change."

So, I began thinking back to what helped me best in losing weight in America. "In America" is the most important part. Because what I can do in other countries, I can't pull off as easily in America. Everywhere else, it's so easy to include walking in your every day life. In America...you have to go out of your way to walk.

That being said, while I was a vegan, I also was going to the gym 2x per week, and was doing 5k conditioning. While COVID19 has me 'nope'-ing  in all social interactions/going where other people go. I'm basically more of a homebody than I've ever been.

But...I can take charge of my eating habits.

It's crazy that I have no problem telling other people 'no', but lack the strength to do the same for myself.

But I did do it once...

I can do it again.

Which is why I subscribed to HelloFresh. They have a $80 off deal right now, and if anyone wants to try it out for themselves, here's an additional $40 off if you click on this link.

With HelloFresh, I'm getting 3 meals per week that has 2 servings in it. Thankfully, I live alone, so I technically have 6 meals. And I can customize my meal options per week. It's not all in their hands, but also in mine. And while this isn't veganism, it is eating healthier.

I cannot tell you how often I've had pizza in the last week alone.

And cookies?

Let's...let's just let it go and move forward.

Okay...here's the deal.

From 7/19 to 7/31, I'm going to do right. Eat proper meals, no ordering delivery, and go on a walk at least three times a week. Maybe I'll try getting my sleep worked on as well. Just the other day I only had an hour and a half. That was a rough, rough day.

On 8/1, I'll post the before and after results. As well as talk about what worked and didn't work.

It's time for me to stop giving up.

#SaveOurToya

Facebook Official

Did you know I was dating someone?

I sure as hell didn't.

Today at lunch I was asked if I had a boyfriend.

"No...why?"

"Really? Not even in America?"

"...no...?"

At this point, I was starting to second guess myself a little. Just a smidgen.

Like, did this person know something about my relationship status that I was not aware of? Am I about to discover that I have a creepy stalker person or something? Am I dating someone?

"Why do you ask?" I prodded for more information, putting my spoon down.

"Oh well...you've been wearing more makeup and dressing really nicely these days. I thought you had a boyfriend."

Pause.

What?

I have to have a boyfriend significant other to put more effort into my looks?

That...That's trash.

If I'm putting more effort into my looks it's because I'm doing it for myself and no one else. And surprise, surprise...I have more time in the mornings to get ready. In fact, I have about an actual hour of additional time for me to get ready instead of the rushed 10 minutes I used to have.

So, yeah. There's gonna be some eye-shadow and less dark circles (cuz I'm getting more sleep) when you look at my face. Glossy lips and a sweet smile. All because I'm taking care of myself!

Moral of the story here: I'm single and looking damn fine.

#SaveOurToya

The End of 2019

I can't believe it.

2019 is almost over. And unlike last year I'm feeling much better. I'm not typing this post with a glare, but a smile.

(From left to right)Charlotte, Kay-leigh, Pi, Darlene, Me, Kim

Because I am feeling good.

This is what I wanted for myself when the decade first started. In 2009, I was still in high school, not a clue about my future, with exams and soccer matches being the most challenging part of my day.

Past me has nothing to worry about, and that's all I wanted.

I know what I'm doing and where I want to go.

I haven't felt this settled in a long time- God, this feels great!

Just can't keep this smile off my face!!!

A big part of this happiness comes from the Christmas Party my friends and I had on Christmas Eve. It was a small gathering of dinner, snacks, and Secret Santa. I really couldn't have asked for more. It didn't matter that half of the decorations were handmade by us or that it was a boogie ratchet Christmas.

It was with my family away from home~

The six of us even took the time to come up with two New Years Resolutions, and with some smart goals to be able to meet those goals! Cuz if we're going to do them, let's do them right!

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Our decorations and resolutions for 2020

My goals:
1 - Staying Connected.
Many of us are going our separate ways in 2020. Back to our home countries to either pursue further education or get a job within our field. Teaching has been fun, but it takes a real hero to stick with it.

Within our group, I'm the only one going back to the US. Which is a big factor of why I don't want to lose touch with the five of them.

I don't want to lose them despite the distance that will separate us in the future.

2 - High Intermediate Korean
I've been saying this for months now, but I'm definitely taking my language study more seriously than ever. I've completed level 1A with the YMCA, finished level 3 of the Talk to Me in Korean grammar books recently, and now....

Now I'm working on getting a tutor.

I'm trying as much as I can to reach my goal before leaving Korea!

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I think what helps is that I've already started on meeting these goals. No...I don't think.

I know.

And perhaps the very best part of Christmas happened when I got to speak with my family back home. A two hour phone call that was filled with laughter, drunk ramblings, mom's phone not working, and dad showing up late to the party despite being right next to mom.

I am thankful that in this final year of the decade that I found the joy that had been lacking more and more with each year.

Sounds sad to hear, doesn't it?

But that's what I've been battling at the end of every year. I was worried it would be the same again this year.

But now...it's 6 days before the end of the decade and there's only one way I can end this post.

#ToyaSavesHerself