These last four months have been...in a word?
Fucking crazy.
Okay, fine.
In two words.
And looking back, I'm kinda glad it was such a whirlwind of 'WTF' and 'Really? Are you serious?'. Sounds stupid, but I'm better for it. And now, I have the opportunity of a lifetime that I never thought I would actually get.
It's kinda like, when you're a kid (which I was) and you want a million dollars (I still do) just so you can live your life and do whatever you want to do (the dream!), but you know reality is a thing (an actual thing) and just try your best to achieve something (hopefully).
That was me.
I didn't think I would ever get to live one of my dreams. Everything going on in the real world has left me more jaded and cynical of life. It wasn't easy finding people who cared or wanted what's best for you. And it still isn't easy to find them.
But!
Cuz there's always a 'but', you find someone or something that puts a smile on your face. You find value in what you're doing again. You throw your name in a hat, cross your fingers, and try to keep yourself from drowning in your responsibilities.
My support system these last four months were a hodge-podge of people that I do not deserve. I could always find a kind word or a 'really Toya?' when I was spiraling into a fit of dramatics.
No really. Dramatics. I had a whole spiel of how I wouldn't get my degree. Live at my parent's house. Without my cat. Stuck forever where I am.
Throw in some crying emojis and you can get the gist of it.
Here I am. A little under two weeks from graduation, a couple months from moving out of the country, and on my way to living my best life.
It sure as hell wasn't easy. The things that really matter, the things that you want with every part of your actual being, those aren't the easiest to get. You have to fight for it. And you might shed some tears. Some parts might fall in your lap, and others you might have to chase after for a couple of months to get them.
So, yeah. My future? Not so pending anymore.
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