WILD

Y'all, last night was WILD.

Remember how I was struggling with some problems about Christmas caroling for the festival my school held? Well...the festival has come and gone and things got wild afterwards.

After all my tough times, I want to tell y'all about something fun. And what happened last night, embodies fun in its entirety. But bear with me, I'm hungover as I'm typing this.

I also only had 2 hours of sleep.

I'm apologizing now for any typos, grammatical errors, and English tomfoolery I'm about to unleash in this post.

First, I'm happy to announce my kids nailed it last night. Wish me luck as I start teaching them some Lion King songs in honor of Lion King being in South Korea. The school is taking a field trip in December to see the show. Gotta get these kids ready.

Anyways, the show ends, parents are going home, teachers are passing out school fliers and helping parents gather their children together. I'm trying to figure out what time my car pool was heading home. It's 9-ish in the evening and I thought I heard we were staying until 10pm.

So, as I'm trying to work out what time we're leaving, which ended up more of a 'we gotta nunchi this', one of the teachers asks, "Who wants to go drinking?"

The speed that many teachers were willing to put cleaning up to tomorrow and have some downtime was eye opening. I hadn't realized just how exhausted they all were. My coworkers hide their struggles very well. And when that invite came my way, I was quick to say 'yes'.

Now, I also thought it would just be for an hour.

Oh no. I didn't start making my way home until 4am. But that's jumping ahead in the story.

Where was I...oh right! So we go to a bar named Cheers. No one there knew my name. But I had 500cc of beer in my hand within seconds of the head teacher sitting down. For those of you who don't know what 500cc is, its equivalent to 500ml. It was a good amount of beer. I had roughly 4 of those as the night passed.

There was also a bottle of soju thrown in there, because why not?

Alright, so I got the alcohol covered, here's what floored me. My co-workers were so relaxed and comfortable, that the intimidation of the language barrier lowered. I was able to speak to many of my coworkers last night and gotten to know them better. It was such a wholesome feeling that I got from them.

And then...one of the teachers told me, outside of work hours, I could call her 언니. Basically, our relationship leveled the fuck up. We also considered ourselves platonic soulmates because we understood each other so well. And I mean, really well. Practically thinking the same thoughts when we're conversing.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, the bromance between the guy teachers was very real, which sparked a conversation about LGBTQIA+. And those of us in the conversation agreed, love is love is love.

The night was literally a beautiful night.

But...the second one of us actually fell asleep at the table mid-conversation, that should've been my clue that things were about to get wild.

Everything that follows feels like it happened so quickly, but I know it happened over a 3 hour time-frame.

Five of us looked for a 노래방 (karaoke), and realized we're in a small rural town and that things don't stay open that late.

I called a taxi for one of the teachers, she was drunk after one of her three 500cc mugs.

Philosophical conversations in English and Korean. Both being quite slurred, but having the best of intentions as we try to figure out how to best work with an obstinate student.

Lost and found cell phones. Never mine...I was still aware enough to know where my phone was...

Oh my god! Let's talk about the bathroom situation. There was one bathroom with a regular stall and a urinal that was more or less covered up by one of those bathroom divider things. It was a gender neutral bathroom. And you never knew if someone was in there using it or not...Of the three times I went to the bathroom, I know for a fact, one time...there was a guy using the urinal. I don't know if he ever realized that I was in there as the same time as him...

By 1am, one of the most docile teachers announces to the group, 'We're not going home. We go to next place. More beer' in her best English. Normally she's so shy and hesitant to speak English, but brah...she took charge and it was in English.

I definitely need to reach out more to the teachers at this school. Extend my hand further, because the wholesome feeling from last night was something I want them all to enjoy more often.

Wait...does this mean we need to go drinking more?

Well we're in luck! Despite coming up with a group name (we're called AM...not sure why...but it made sense last night, I guess?), we also have plans to meet up on Monday in the evening.

Anyways, we're all getting ready to go, being the last group at the bar by the way. Cheering and laughing and speaking a mix of Korean and English. I think some of the teachers were slightly startled at the amount of Korean I could speak. Which isn't much, but enough that I can get my thought across at times...

ANYWAYS! 6 from the original 11, went right ahead to the next drinking spot. And yes...that included me. And not to worry, we took a taxi! Oh! Before I forget...our next drinking spot was going to be a 노래방. (Yes...we tried finding 노래방 again. No regrets.) But realized, again, that there wasn't one open, we went to a...I actually don't know the name of the place.

It's a place you can eat hot Korean food and keep drinking for a cheap price. Which is what happened for the next three hours.

By 4am, I was finally falling asleep and the night was called. Time to go home.

Now, I was going to call a taxi, but host mom was all, 'No! We'll walk! Together! Let's go!' It's below the freezing point, we're both drunk, and she wants to walk home?

Well, we got home around 4:30.

Now, had it been a normal Thursday turned Friday situation, I would've just gone to bed.

I didn't.

I packed my bag since after work today, my traveling for the weekend began. One night in Daegu and the following in Seoul. I got to sleep around 5am. Did I say something different earlier in the post? Bah, that's wrong. I went to bed around 5am, just to wake up at 7:45am for work.

And what I thought would be a regular morning was not the case.

Apparently, host mom had the bus driver's keys and phone. I had wondered last night where she'd gotten the bag that she suddenly acquired, but...I was busy trying to stay warm at the time.

And we needed to go get the car from the bar.

And breakfast.

One second, I was about to make myself a bagel and the next I was climbing into host dad's truck to be driven to the bar to get the car, but host mom and I went to GS25 (a convenience store) and looked for breakfast before heading into work.

And when we get to work, thirty minutes later than usual, but still on time...I realized...one of the cars back at the bar has been one of the teacher's cars. She hadn't gotten it yet.

Was she...was she not coming in?

Sis rolled in at the start of first period...

And now I have a raging headache and have to go teach one of my rowdiest classes in about twenty minutes.

#SaveOurToya

Can You Not?

I feel like it's been years since I've written a happy post. Which is preposterous...this blog came alive in May. It's barely been six months. And yet...this feeling persists.

So, what brings me back for my latest update?

Christmas carols.

I bet you didn't see that coming.

And yes, I know, Thanksgiving hasn't come and gone yet, but here we are anyways.

My school is hosting a festival of sorts on 11/22 (yes, Thanksgiving day), and I was asked last month to get the kids ready to sing an English song.

My reaction: Um...okay? What song?

Now, take a moment to be in my shoes. It's been some odd years since I was in Elementary School. But, I'm pretty sure we never had a festival. Maybe a Christmas pageant, but even then...it was all done in one language that a majority (if not all) of the students spoke. I was so lost on what the school was looking for.

Teacher mode flipped on and I decided that I wanted to find an easy song that also ties in the season (making decisions like a boss). I landed on, 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. Side note, did you know it was considered a Thanksgiving song back in the day? I didn't. And! There was a readily available ESL version. I was gonna have them all do an A Cappella version, like Christmas carolers. Being able to slide in a cultural piece, beautiful, right?

Well, I was told they needed to do more.

Brah...you want them to do two English songs?

And you want them to do Let It Go?

Somehow, I was able to scale the song back to them only having to sing a 30-second part of the song. The "easiest" part I could find.

They got it down with some struggles, but its good. Timing may be off a smidge, but they know the words.

Phew. Okay, easy breathing.

They're still struggling with We Wish You a Merry Christmas, but they're getting the hang of it. Slowly.

Mostly okay breathing, then.

This morning, when we did a final rehearsal, I was so proud of them. I sat in front of them and mouthed the words, but they did it! The whole way through without me having to fix pronunciation. Word order is still a bit off, but the pronunciation was good!

I even did a little happy squeal afterwards. That's how happy I was!

However...

The VP didn't approve...not completely. She wants to add music or a piano in the background to the song. And her reasoning, 'the timing is off'.

Honey, it's not the timing. It's their confidence in the words. It's an English song with words like 'figgy pudding' and 'good tidings' in it. And now, when they're finally getting the hang of the song, you want to introduce a piano to freak them out even more?

No.

Also, I told her I wanted to do the song in a traditional caroling way. Aka, no music, just voices.

But instead of respecting the culture that I'm introducing to your students, school, community, you'd rather add a piano because it'll make you feel better?

No.

I've recognized that for many people at the school, saying 'no' is hard to do. And sometimes, it is for me too, not wanting to disrespect them, their teaching experience, and their culture. All I ask, is the same be afforded to me.

And when it isn't...in what language do you want me to say 'no'. I got five I can give you, right here, right now.

Here's the other thing...why am I constantly told, "respect the Korean culture", when the same is not told to the workplace that has requested a foreign teacher to respect the foreigner's culture? Do they not get a training session on what to do when you have a foreigner in your office?

Perhaps this is my own privilege/entitlement coming out right now...I definitely can see how foreigners back home can feel intimidated, startled, uncomfortable, and coerced with a few words. This is definitely a learning moment for myself for when I get back home.

Moral of the story, I'm irritated. This isn't the first time I've been put in an uncomfortable situation due to cultural differences, but it is the first time I've had enough and won't let it slide.

#SaveOurToya

Curious whether I'm about to burn a bridge with the VP or not, hit the 'FOLLOW' button to find out!

Those Little...

You ever get so frustrated to the point of wanting to cry, but you can't because you're just so angry?

As of right now, I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I'm pretty sure common sense has been forcibly thrown out the window and children are having run of the town...uh, school.

How else can all the crap that has happened...well, happen?

These kids need a whole lot of stability and consequences.

These kids need a super nanny.

But what these kids have is baby-glove-consequences.

And me.

And I don't know about those baby-glove-consequences, but I'm ready to do this. These kids can either act right, or go down to the Staff room and tell the adults why I sent them. Hell, I might even go over to Daiso, find myself some nice stationary, so I can write down the truth (because I can't trust them to tell them why they were sent), and then tell the student to go bring it to the VP.

"Today, I told the teacher she'll die."

"Today, I told a student if they wanted to die."

"I'd rather scream across the classroom than listen to the teacher."

"I decided to assault another student."

This list could go on.

No, really...it can.

I don't know about other English teachers abroad, but is this common behavior in your classes? I can only speak of my own teaching experiences and what I remember from when I was in school. I can never remember things getting so OUT OF HAND...

And back in the states, we had a whole list of consequences. There was no tolerance for violence in school.

Detention.

In-school suspension.

Out-of-school suspension.

Expulsion.

You can ask me if these things exist at this school, and I can honestly tell you that only one does...and its explusion.

Listen. I understand when things go bad, you want to get rid of the problem. And sometimes, that's what you have to do. But before you do that, you have to work with the problem. And I mean actually work with the problem.

Not just hope for the best.

For good behavior, reward it.

For bad behavior, acknowledge it and work through it. Together.

Clearly, a kid has anger issues. And clearly, many of the students don't know how to express themselves without getting physical, period.

So...less baby gloves and more actually helping these kids.

At this point, you might be wondering, "Damn Toya, that's a good point. But what are you doing to make a difference in these kids lives?"
Fair question, Fam.

And I'm not saying that I'll hold a culture class titled, 'mad, black woman' and teach them the ins and outs of where that stereotype came from, but these kids will learn something new about me.

I've already instilled my 'heads down' policy. I only use it when it gets too loud and no one is listening. Today, all I wanted them to do was write their vocabulary words. Instead, I had shouting across the classroom and students not staying in their seats. Three minutes in, I had had enough. Yesterday, a student assaulted another student with some scissors. This child could've been very badly hurt. Thankfully, there's only a few scratches. I have no idea what started that altercation or who said what, but frankly...it shouldn't have gotten that far to begin with.

That's why, three minutes in, heads down was activated. But, it was a little different than normal...

I put a touch of...'if ya'll don't put cho'heads down r'ght now, I'mma give you a reason ta be screamin' across this room' into my tone. It was the quickest I've ever seen them shut up and quiet down.

Oh ho ho, Toya-teacher don't play.

And what a wonderful lesson to learn!

That being said...

I'm about to go teach a class with all of my students in it, so that's roughly twenty students, and it's to practice singing an English song for the festival next week. And we both know, things are about to get wild.

#SaveOurToya

If you wanna keep up with the shenangians that are...well, my students at this point...go ahead and hit the 'follow' button on the right! And if something spoke to you at all during this post, please don't hesitate to leave a comment!

The Aftereffects

Trigger Warning: mass shootings, feelings being validated, emotional rambling on triggering topic
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Nose clogging.

Throat throbbing.

Eyes watering.

Head aching.

And yet, its the latest news about a mass shooting in a California bar that is making it hard for me to breath. Guys, I don't know where this naive thought came from, but for whatever reason, I thought that once I came to Korea, I'd stop hearing about shootings.

No more heart stopping news.

No more breath quickening to painful levels.

No more.

Joke's on me, I guess.

I'm recovering from a fever right now, not having the most comfortable of week, and it pales in comparison to how I feel.

I am well aware that the topic of mass shootings is a sensitive topic for me. The fact that a fellow Fulbrighter had asked how to broach the topic of mass shootings in America for their Korean students had me tensing, sweating, and breath quickening. It was hint enough that this was a topic that triggered me.

And here's what I recognize.

This is something I need to work through, but I'm not ready to talk nor do I know where to begin. Do I start with the school drills I learned in school for whenever there was a shooter on campus? Or do I start with the attempted mass shooting at my university during my undergrad days? Or the false alarm during grad school? What about Pulse? Parkland?

I keep having to stop typing. My fingers keep stalling.

During the recovery in Orlando after Pulse, I heard from various sources that it's okay to feel what you feel. That your feelings are valid.

That my feelings are valid.

But...maybe its because I'm not surrounded by the community that knew what it was like, or because I've been lulled into a bubble of safety since moving here, but its been getting harder to stay steady whenever I hear about a shooting.

Of all the things to have to prepare myself for with my move, finding support for moments like these was not something I thought I had to do.

I'm working through these emotions, I am.

But it's not easy....hell, writing this post was not easy. I mentioned that I had to stop typing many times. My fingers were literally tensing and causing me to hit the wrong keys. It doesn't help that my thoughts are all over the place and stringing one thought together was so hard.

Partly because of the fever, but mostly because of this topic.

This post was/is more for me than it was for you, I admit. An attempt at putting it all down. Granted, I'm doing better now than I did when I first started this post.

If only it were that easy to move past this.

#SaveOurToya

How does this KEEP happening?!

PC: Ashley

November is here, the leaves are changing, the heat mats are coming out, and I have climbed yet another mountain.

I'm not...mad...or anything.

But how do I keep finding myself on a mountain?

It's as if Korea has evoked the hiking enthusiast out of me. And today's hike was an adventure. 

Where do I even begin?

Let's start with how I'm feeling now, shall we?

PC: Ashley

My feet hurt, but my ankle is mostly fine. As you know, I had to go to the hospital a couple months ago to have it checked out. I had been a bit too active for my Achilles' taste and discovered I had tendinitis. The doctor told me to rest it for a month.

Well that month was up as of November 3rd. 

But...it did hurt for a while on the hike. I'm going to take that as a 'not completely healed yet' sign.

My head is killing me, as it usually does when I'm out in nature for a long time. I have nothing against nature, in fact, I love it. It's really peaceful and wholesome! 

PC: Ashley

However, my head still hurts.

Moving right along...despite the few aches and pains, I feel...GREAT! I climbed a mountain. I finally made it to the top of a mountain, despite my trash-talking. 

PC: Ashley

Oh yes. I trash-talked on the mountain. In my defense (not sure if it's a good one...), my foot hurt and my muscles burned and I had been promised we'd reach the top 'soon'. Well, 'soon' meant in an hour. 

And no. We hadn't just started walking. (Don't be rude.)

That being said, I couldn't have climbed that mountain with a better group. We were...I don't think I actually have a word that describes us. Except, CHAMPIONS. (Since you know, we climbed a mountain...and listened to Queen while doing it.)

Look at this view. You're welcome.

PC: Ashley

The four of us are all English teachers, but unlike myself, they're not from the US. And let me just say, that it's wonderful how you can meet people from all around the world no matter where you go! And while others were invited on this outing, they were unable to join us this go-around. But that's okay! I'll be seeing them Wednesday for our weekly soccer match anyways!

Here are some more pictures from today's hike!

To the top!	The Champions~!	The water...so clear...much wow
Break time	Loving nature	Found some wings again~!

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#SaveOurToya