Not Goodbye, but See You Later

This morning, I had the chance to drop my parents off at the airport. They're on their way to a 3 week vacation in Germany. I'm totally excited for them and miss the Fatherland quite a bit, but this trip will be good for them. They work so hard and do so much! It's their time to relax and recuperate. Hopefully one day I can make it back to Germany too.

And while this wasn't the first time I was sending them off, it was the first time that I'm sending them off where I won't see them for almost a year again. I was okay, until Ma started crying.

Dad (to me): Why are you crying? Stop that.
Me: It's mom's fault!
Mom: I don't regret a single tear!
Me: *chocked sob*
Dad: This is what you want to do. You're gonna be great!
Me (wiping away tears): I know!
Mom (sniffles): Be a good girl and have fun!

If this isn't an accurate representation of what it's like to be with my parents, I don't know what is. Well...actually, there are a few more examples. BUT! This is what they all come down too.

It would've been better if my older brother was there too, but he's not exactly accessible from Florida. But the four of us, we're gonna be okay. I'll be okay.

This opportunity is my journey to take, but I know that while I won't see them, my family will still support me.

#SaveOurToya

Reassurances

This is just gonna be a small post....

Yesterday, I received a phone call from my dad. They're not a daily thing, or a weekly thing. Maybe we talk on the phone once a month?

Anyways, as my phone rang, his name lighting up the screen, I got the option to accept or reject the call. I had been in the middle of something, thinking of letting the call go to voicemail, but something prompted me to answer his call. After all, we only talk about once a month on the phone.

"Who else is going to be there with you?"

That question came to me as a shock. I paused. Hesitated. 

"What?"

"Who else will be there with you? Or will you be by yourself?"

I am well aware that the transition between leaving America and moving abroad is going to be a huge transition for him. I lived in France for a month, and that had been a struggle for him. My time in France was not only for me to get the studying abroad experience, but also to have my family get accustom to me not being in the area. 

And now here I am, moving to the other side of the planet for a year, with hopes of an extended stay abroad.

Based on his questioning, he's not ready for this move.

And I respect that. As a father, his youngest child who has always been near him or near family, this is a HUGE change for him.

But, I'm not letting it stop me. I can't.

He may not know this, like, be fully aware of this, but I need to do this. I need to live my life how I want to and always wanted to. I need to spread my wings and explore the unknown!

I will be honest and direct about everything. I told him that I wouldn't know anyone else in my program until I get there. I have no idea where I will be exactly. I could hear his hesitancy over the phone as we spoke.

I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, or he doesn't know how to express himself, but it was important to me that he knew that he could ask me anything. Transparency is probably the most important thing between us these coming months. So, I hope that even if it is making him uncomfortable or quite fearful, that he can talk to me about it.

#SaveOurToya