GoodBye

Isn't saying goodbye one of the hardest things to get through?

All these feelings and memories popping up as you say goodbye not giving you a moments' peace.

Ugh.

It's getting harder and harder to write this post.

Apparently, I still haven't found my voice.

Now, this post isn't even a 'see you later' goodbye, but a 'I don't know when I'll ever see you again' goodbye. And I am literally the WORST at those kinds of goodbyes.

I never know what I'm supposed to say or do. I'm like that person who will go for the high five when you go for the fist-bump.

Oh dear god.

I'm that awkward parent trope that's trying to stay woke.

I know I act like a retired grandma who is 100% done with people's shit and wondering when I get my next nap, but really? Have I truly made it to the point that I can't do social interactions anymore?

**DEEP BREATH**

Okay. I can do this.

This post is about goodbyes.

This week, a majority of the Fulbright 2018-19 cohort are going home, saying goodbye to their time in Korea and hello to their next part in life. It's a kind of...bittersweet change. Though I wasn't very travel or social heavy like the rest of my cohort (retired grumpy grandma, remember?), it's still odd to think that after this week, they won't be in the country to reach out to. Those 79 people that survived an 8-week Orientation with, not crossing a river boundary, reluctantly obeying FEP dress regulation DESPITE the heat, battling for the washer and dryers, and enjoying soju outside the nearby 7/11s.

Mentioned in an earlier post, I described how I was at a loss of words during this transitioning time.

I'm still clearly affected, but...I can feel that I'm also just so much closer to my voice for the coming year.

On August 19th, 2018, I wrote about 79 goodbyes and 80 hellos. I wished my cohort all the best during their time in Korea. Now, as it closes out for most of them, I wish to extend similar well -wishes to them as they move to their next journey.

To those who are renewing a second year like I am, may this second year be just as fantastic (if not more) than our first year!

And to the new first years...may you forge new memories that you may never forget!

#SaveOurToya

Baker's Table - A Restaurant Review...sorta

One of the goals I made for myself this grant year was to find a German restaurant in South Korea. While I know how to make most German dishes that I crave from time to time, sometimes I just want someone else to cook. That's right, I admit it. I like being lazy.

Big shocker.

A couple of weeks ago, I found a place called Baker's Table. It had a pretty intensive menu that put a smile on my face and a dinner date in my planner. 

Finally the day came. I was so excited! I found some time before my meeting to scope out where the place would be, so I could head straight there after my meeting and make the most of it before catching my bus.

I don't think I can convey just how much I needed this to be a good moment for me.

No, not good.

It needed to be wonderful, exciting...brilliant.

When I finally stepped foot into the place, I...was kinda disappointed. 

In a single glance around the place, I noticed it was packed to the point of being uncomfortable. Which meant, there would be a long wait.

Really long.

I would miss my bus, long.

You know, big picture here...with the week that I had, I wasn't too surprised that this wasn't working out for me either. Disappointed, but not surprised.

Instead of focusing on the crippling disappointment and crying in a room full of strangers, I decided to grab some stuff from their bakery and then take off. It'll give me the chance to pop into a clothing store I've been eyeing (OKBT) before heading to the Nambu Bus Terminal.

Sometimes, I'm really thankful that my brain can make rational decisions while the rest of me is trying to figure out which way was up. 

I'll have to try again another day, but...at least their baked goods were rather delicious. Which I had to wait about ten minutes to get together. 

Here are some pictures of the bakery:

#SaveOurToya

Curious about the week I had? I recommend reading the following posts: Lost, Permanency, and Train Naps. They all happened within a week's time marks one of the roughest weeks I've had in 2018.

JjimjilBAD

When the jjimjilbang turns into a jjimjilBAD.

Y'all...the experience was so bad that when I "woke up" today, I needed to get outta there ASAP. Muy rapido. No looking back. Gone. Bye.

I cannot make any of this up. 

So, let me tell you what happened. (T, here's the story in my own words!)

Oh! And before I forget, this is all from my perspective. There were seven other people who have perspectives of what happened. And we all unanimously agreed without saying anything the next day, 'WTF was our night?'

I was at the lantern festival this year, which was lit. (This pun must be overused by now...?) Gigantic lanterns that depicted different symbols, stories, or points in history (Jinju's electricity bill must be very high during this time of the year...).  There was lots of food, lots of people, lots of fun! 

We all had a great time!

Then it came down to figuring out where we were staying. As you know, I had a great time at a Korean Bathhouse while in Daegu, so I was keen to do the same in Jinju. Cheap, fun, and relaxing.

Which would've been a great ending to our day in Jinju.

But uh...that's not how it worked out.

I'm still not sure if I'll be able to explain it exactly, because it was one of those: "you had to be there" moments. So bear with me as I list things out.

1) We couldn't find where we were going.

2) There was a creepy alleyway we had to walk down. For the record, the fact that there was five of us may deter some people from attacking us, but not all. 

3) The price was $10 for the night, which yay! Saving money! And okay, maybe at this point you're like, only $10 Toya? Don't you think that should've told you what was going to happen? You know, besides the alleyway? My answer: hush, I'm not done.

4) The pjs they gave me didn't fit. As you know, Asians tend to fall on the more...smaller side. But I got curves and those shorts did not fit. (Meanwhile, they're all concerned about the shirt not fitting, ha!)

5) The baths were closed, ugh. But the showers were available, yay! At this point, I'm like, 'alright, cool. We can shower, lay down, sleep, eat some snacks, whatever, and get in the baths in the morning'. Oh how wrong was I.

6) No snacks. At all.

7) No mats for the floor. I was sleeping on solid tile. No wait. We got blankets, so that was nice. But I had to either sleep straight on the tile with the blanket covering me, or sleep on the tile and be exposed to the air. I could've gotten a second blanket, but I was too tired to get up, and my injuries were flaring badly.

8) I missed four chapters in my audiobook. 

9) The lights were on in the sleeping area???

Wow, we're already at nine and I haven't even gotten to the 'best' part. And again...I seriously cannot make this up.

10) I'm finally asleep, or at least dozing. If I had been left alone, I would've woken up at least somewhat functioning. Instead, I was startled awake by some snoring. Loudly. 

11) Snoring? Okay, I can handle snoring. Not my first snorer. But then there was a second one who snored when the other one was breathing. There was just enough break in between the snores to keep you from sleeping.

12) Farting. Next came farting. 

13) There was the overachiever who farted and snored simultaneously too.

14) An older couple having a late night chat near our area because why not. They have nothing better to do around 2AM. Besides sleeping, but ha! Who needs that? Clearly no one in the jjimjilbang last night.

Okay, so at this point, its maybe 3AM? And I somehow found a way to doze off again. I thought that would be it.

It wasn't.

15) Some old man came into our area, which was kind of sectioned off from the other areas, and started yelling at us. In Korean. I had no idea what was going on, but at this point I figured this man was drunk and thought, 'hey, maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away'. But apparently, no. I found out later someone in my group made eye contact with him and that's why he stayed for a good moment...yelling...in Korean. Once he finally left, someone that I knew but didn't know joined us until then (like 3 more Fulbright ETAs joined our area) asked, "What did he say?". Apparently it was, "shut the hell up! I'm trying to sleep!" 

What fucking irony. So was I.

16) He didn't stop. He went around for a good while this morning, yelling at people who were snoring. He stopped after he had a rather lengthy and LOUD conversation with one of the snoring victims. That was around 4AM. So nice of them.

17) At 6AM, I gave up on sleeping and just sat up and waited for more people to give up on the lost cause that was sleep.

Then in the next three hours, the first few people in our group got up to leave. Then another. Then myself and one other person. Two people stayed still, but I'm sure they left not too long after us. We were all just done. 

Personally, my thoughts were along the lines of 'get me the fuck out of this city'.

Now, don't get me wrong. Jinju was a great place! Cute cafe that I went to twice, delicious food, and a fantastic lantern festival that's worth going to!

Just the...jjimjilbang was much to be desired. 

The experience was such a turnoff that instead of taking the direct bus to my town, I went directly to Daegu instead. I just...really needed to leave.

One day, I'll be back in Jinju. And if I'm spending the night, it won't be at a jjimjilbang. Either a hotel or airbnb. 

18) You thought the list was done. That's cute. Okay, so I'm in Daegu now. Which I've gotten pretty familiar with. We had brunch at the cutest place and ended up seeing Christopher Robin in theaters. Sounding good right? But then, I get grabbed by some old guy as I walk by him. 

Not sexually.

He just grabbed my arm.

As if he had the right to put his hands on me.

(Which he fucking does not.)

19) And then on the subway to the bus terminal in Daegu...some random old man started shouting. Unprovoked, I found out a few seconds later. And he just kept shouting for six stops. This time, I had no one to translate for me, so I can't tell you what he said, BUT! Some of the people around him either got uncomfortable or laughed it off. 

Wait.

Let me correct that.

The women got uncomfortable. The men laughed it off.

SO!

After what I thought would be a relaxing few hours in Daegu, ended up being not so relaxing.

At all.

The second I got home, I fell into bed and didn't move until dinner time. 

Lesson planning could wait.

#SaveOurToya

If you wanna keep up with the shenanigans I find myself in, please subscribe to my blog to get the notifications! 

PS. Festival, cafe, and brunch pictures will be uploaded on a separate post.

Week 14 - What do you mean it gets COLDER?

Basically everyone around me, telling me about the weather.

 I've been told that winter was coming.

 Brah, it is 5-degrees Celsius outside.
 (41-degrees Fahrenheit)

 What do you mean it gets COLDER??????

 It's barely October! And yet here I am, wearing long-everything, scarf, jacket, and a hat, wondering why I'm still cold. I'm about to experience a literal winter and I am not ready.

But don't get me wrong. I am excited for a few things this coming season. Like...snow~!

Having lived in Florida for 14-ish years, snow isn't something you see in person. Not really. And without knowing, I embraced the Floridian life quite a bit. Heat and sunshine? I know how to handle that pretty well. I still complain, but that's because it's still hot.

So yes, snow!

Had a dream this week that I saw gigantic snow flakes in front of my face. More than likely that dream was sparked by how cold its been getting, but hey. Snowflakes the size of my face? They're beautiful.

Who knew I was so artistic when I slept?

I'm also very interested to see how South Korea handles winter here. Such as, what foods pop up? Music? What about fashion? Will work/school have snow days? I mean, it's already different since I have most of Janurary off for the winter holidays, but work all of December. For me, that's a bit backwards, but I'm taking a wild guess that it's even colder in Janurary?

As the days grow colder, I will be getting my hands on hot teas and cocoa, thick blankets, and my package from home that has all my winter stuff in it. Like boots, socks (the fuzzy kind. What are we, plebs?), sweaters, and my wintercoat.

Word of warning to anyone moving to Korea and is stuck with the 2 suitcase rule as I was. You can have your winter clothes shipped (if you come during the summer and it's a literal heatwave in constant effect). Just make sure of one thing. If you're accustom to a more tropical climate, and lived in a place known for its sunshine, make sure your package gets to you within the first week of October. Because September will betray your trust in the coldest of ways that keeps getting colder.

If you wanna keep up with the shenangians that I find myself in, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya

13 Days Later...

It's been a while! 

Guess who's back~!


C'est moi!

That's right everyone, I am back. And crazily, on the thirteenth day...

As far as I'm concerned, that's not an unlucky number, especially since it's October. Goes well with the theme, don't you think?

I hope you've all taken care of yourselves while I've been away? If not, let's talk! My time away has given me breath and space that has helped me reach a calmer inner peace. A lot has happened, and over the next coming days, I hope to put up posts about most of it!

But first, I want to bring attention to my Thank You post. It's just a small thank you to everyone who reached out to me while I was away. That's really all I'm going to say on the matter as the post itself is rather self-explanatory.

I plan to update this post with links to the other posts that will reflect what happened while I was on my hiatus. And if any of you follow my Insta, I'm sure you have an idea of what I've been up to!  Everything will be linked below~!

I have just one more thing to say.

It feels good to be back.

Please click the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates on my latest shenanigans in Korea.

#SaveOurToya

9/26 - Hiatus
9/28 to 30 - Seoul and the Hospital
10/3 - The Mini-Break
10/6 - Busan

화이팅 (in More Ways than One)

Many of you have reached out to me, sharing your love and positivity during a time I wasn't able to do the same for myself. That is why this post is for you.

To you, who made me smile when I couldn't muster one up myself.

To you, who reminded me that I'm not alone.

To you, who talked me through my thoughts.

To you, who stood beside me.

To you, who listened.

To you, who cared.

To you...

I give you my thanks, my appreciation, and my affection. I know that many of you have your own problems that you're working through. And they are by no means less than someone else's. So, the fact that you took time to reach out means more to me than I can ever express. Know that if you need a willing ear or just someone to talk to, I am here for you.

Without hesitation.

#SaveOurToya

That time I went to Busan

An unexpected trip that just coincided with the Busan International Film Festival. The host family and I went on a road trip to Busan, which was an unexpected trip. But hey, when you have a four day weekend, may as well, right?

There's nothing crazy noteworthy I want to talk about. 

I am simply thankful that my host family wanted to take me with them and I was able to bond with my host sisters more. They don't live at home since they live in different parts of the country, but it's always a fun time when we're all together.

But I did realize something...now that I think about it. There is definitely a lot more Korean flying around that I'm not able to participate in. I felt more isolated than normal, but I know that wasn't their intention. I tend to be quiet just in general and I don't expect them to do everything in English just because I couldn't participate. I found my inclusions in other ways.

They always checked in with my injury, since there was a lot of walking. If I wandered off a little too far, someone would always make an effort to wait with me. There were even times when they would ask about how something works in America or how to say something in English. 

And whenever we ran into another Fulbright ETA (which happened both days we were there), they would ask me about them.

It was on this trip, that I was reminded that I needed to look at the small actions of others. Because sometimes, that's what they're able to do during that time.

I hope you enjoy the pictures!

If you wanna keep up with my latest shenanigans, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates!

#SaveOurToya

The Mini-Break

During my hiatus, I thought a lot about my status of renewing my contract or not. We had October 3rd off for 개천절. And thank goodness that we did, because I was emotionally dead by that point.

It's why I was thinking about renewing my contract. It got real rough at work.

Given, I've been here for a short time in the grand scheme, and it's not something I need to make decision about now.

But.

My thoughts still wandered and I decided to give it some serious thought. Especially since I was on a hiatus and was taking the time to care for myself. Ignoring my thoughts or feelings is the exact opposite of what I told myself I needed to do.

Now, as many of you know, I want to do all three years with Fulbright.

At least...I did...

And I'm not saying that I'll switch over to EPIK or maybe go to a different country. I've seriously contemplated going back home after this year.

Crazy! I know!

But, at the current moment, that's just where my head is and I wanted to make note of it. I'm not disregarding this feeling or thought because I made it during a not so good time for myself. It's still a very real feeling.

It's not shade at Korea or anything.

I'm just contemplating if teaching is really my thing...

It's especially hard when you're faced with misbehaving children. And I'm not talking about tantrum-ready, screaming children. I'm talking about kids who are quicker to curse you out and call you a pig. I've always said kids were mean, but sometimes...they can be particularly vicious.

Behavior like this is hard to correct. It's doable, but hard. And since we have a language barrier between each other, it's even harder. But you can be proud of me. I did not let it stop me. I'm not afraid to stop a lesson midway through and get serious. 

And why should I be afraid to do that? It'll ruin the lesson? Let's be real. The misbehavior has already ruined it.

I had had enough and pulled a full halt on everything. I cut them off. I stared them down. I spoke over them. I made sure I had everyone's attention. Then in as simple as possible with words I know they know, I told them: "No. I do not like bad words. You will not say 'fuck you', 'what the fuck', or 'mother fucker'. That is bad. No more."

Of course, there had to be that one kid who called me a 'pig' to lighten the mood. Shut that right down as well.

I've yet to escalate this to their homeroom teachers or my coteacher. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't. Maybe, it's because I want to try to handle it on my own, as I hadn't tried yet. It could be because of anything. As far as I see it, if it does happen again, I'll get serious again and bring it up to their teachers then.

I did not fly all the way across the planet to be disrespected or made fun of. And yes, kids are kids. But it doesn't mean they have to be horrible. That crap won't fly in the real world. And frankly, it doesn't matter that they're only elementary school kids, because they're still in the real world. I'm in the real world.

This behavior definitely will play a part in influencing whether I want to be here another year or not. To do three years would be beautiful, but...if reality is telling me differently, then it's telling me differently.

Are any of you having these thoughts of renewing your contracts or staying at your place of employment for another year?

If you wanna see what else I get up to while in Korea, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya

So I went to Seoul....

Even though this was planned before I decided to take my hiatus, my trip to Seoul was extremely well timed.


That's right, I took a trip to Seoul!

I could probably bore/interest you with some facts about Seoul, largest city in Korea and has 25% of the South Korean population in its city limits or whatever; however, that would only be a small part of my weekend trip. And stop being lazy, go to Wiki and look it up yourself.

The original intention for my trip up to Seoul was to have some American food.

Breakfast food.

That hassle was real

It had been way too long since I had American breakfast food and I was really missing it. Like really missing it. Missing it so much, I made a whole weekend trip to go get some.

Okay...sort of planned a trip.

True story, I was kind of freaking out about the whole time.

Packed bus to Seoul

Sure, I've gone to Daegu many times, since I barely live an hour away from it...but Seoul? That's  basically a three hour drive. In fact...I think it was more...?

Gongcha and bus riding

And while I've been in country for three months by then, public transportation is still very daunting for someone who rarely used it. Back home, I have my own car. I was very privileged in that fact. I had a car since I was of age. And...school buses aren't really public transportation.


So, yeah.

I had to figure out the online reservation, which surprise of all suprises, the English site does not work. You can only make reservations via the Korean version. Am I the only one who thinks that's...odd? I wonder how common this is? Are sites in America like this as well? What about other countries?

Empty bus to Geochang

Figuring out the ticket system took a hot minute. I had to ask other foreign teachers, 'brah, what do?' I did find out that if you use google chrome as your browser, it'll translate most of the site for you, so that was a small blessing. But you have to be careful. It translates a lot of things into literal translations. Particularly city names. Moments like these, it's good to have a grasp in Hangul.

Most of the reservation is self-explanatory, but then the purchasing part is a little different than what I was familiar with. Instead of entering the CVV code (those 3 numbers on the back of the card), I had to enter the first two digits of my 4-digit passcode as a card password?

A literal process.

Do I look tired?

But doable.

It just takes patience and not being afraid to ask for help.

Bus ticket aside...I got to Seoul easy enough, but very exhausted. It was after a long day at work (taught 6 lessons that day, because Fridays are a day to overwork yourself??), and then I had to find my friend.

Who was lost.

At a different bus terminal.

Thankfully in Seoul.

I made sure that we went over the Metro protocol Saturday.

It's as if this post has only been focusing on transportation...doesn't it? I haven't even gotten started on the taxi life...but I'll save that for a different post. But, most of my taxi experiences have been good and reasonably priced!

Now, let's talk Seoul...shall we?

Just the Oncology building at
Severance Hospital. SO BIG.

Since I was already in Seoul, I made an appointment with Severance Hospital. One of the very few hospitals Fulbright ETAs can go to where we don't have to worry about the two to six month reimbursement process. I had an appointment for my foot since it was now going on for 3 weeks of PAIN.

I couldn't wake up without my Achilles aching in pain. Or walk up stairs. Or play soccer. Or volleyball. Probably the reason I ended up tearing my muscle while playing soccer too.

This burger gave me life

Severance Hospital...oh my god. I don't even know how to explain it. It's huge and wonderful and I'm pretty sure it's also a mall? I had maybe one of the best burgers there.

Anyways, I had my foot checked out and found out I had tendinitis. I was told one month of 'no soccer, no volleyball, no hiking'.

Me: lol, k.

As soon as November hits, I'm going to go on a nice, relaxing hike. Enjoy nature and all that.

Outside of the hospital, we found a random music festival and looked around in some shopping options but didn't get too crazy into it. Personally, I felt very overwhelmed with how shopping happens here. In the states and Germany (the two places I'm familiar with), everything (literally, EVERYTHING) wasn't displayed for you to look through right on the shelves. But here....it's just all...there. I guess it has something with not having a 'back area' or something? Spacing difficulties? I probably need to look at stores one or four more times before I would feel comfortable/know what I want to buy.

So yeah. Overwhelming.

I did see a sale on face masks though. 1+1 (BOGO in America), I got 30 face masks for 15,000원. Yes, I literally paid $0.44 for one face mask. It was a beautiful moment.

And then finally Sunday came around...

Breakfast.

We went to the Original Pancake House in Itaewon (barely a five minute walk from the Metro stop). I will let the pictures do most of the talking, but I will say this. If you're looking for a place that serves Ihop-styled food....this is the place to go while being in Korea.

Sooooo, worth it. 

And not to worry! All of the employees speak English and the menu is in English (and Korean). I will definitely be making a trip again...maybe in November...after my hiking day?

What I haven't mentioned: The crazy thing Friday Night at 7/11.

#SaveOurToya