Field trip of Isolation

What is inclusivity?

Not only did I go to professional development about this for 6 years, I studied it at grad school for two years.

So, I want to say that I have a pretty good idea what inclusivity is.

And maybe that's why I am just BLOWN away right now.

Okay. Wait. Before I go any further, let me just add that this isn't my first time facing this problem. I identify with a few minority groups that have limited me before.

But holy shit.

It's something else when it comes to being in another country for a job who has specifically asked for a foreign teacher and then go through such a blatant show of segregation.

What.

Even.

Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, but damn. For me, it kind of feels like a slap in my face. 

Instead of splitting the teacher group apart, you can have me sit by myself away from the teachers and other students. And sure, you can also not include me in any conversation. 

I thought it was my fault that no one was reaching out to me, but after this incident...I wanna say that it takes more than just me to make an effort. To build bridges. 

Hopefully, the next field trip will be better.

JjimjilBAD

When the jjimjilbang turns into a jjimjilBAD.

Y'all...the experience was so bad that when I "woke up" today, I needed to get outta there ASAP. Muy rapido. No looking back. Gone. Bye.

I cannot make any of this up. 

So, let me tell you what happened. (T, here's the story in my own words!)

Oh! And before I forget, this is all from my perspective. There were seven other people who have perspectives of what happened. And we all unanimously agreed without saying anything the next day, 'WTF was our night?'

I was at the lantern festival this year, which was lit. (This pun must be overused by now...?) Gigantic lanterns that depicted different symbols, stories, or points in history (Jinju's electricity bill must be very high during this time of the year...).  There was lots of food, lots of people, lots of fun! 

We all had a great time!

Then it came down to figuring out where we were staying. As you know, I had a great time at a Korean Bathhouse while in Daegu, so I was keen to do the same in Jinju. Cheap, fun, and relaxing.

Which would've been a great ending to our day in Jinju.

But uh...that's not how it worked out.

I'm still not sure if I'll be able to explain it exactly, because it was one of those: "you had to be there" moments. So bear with me as I list things out.

1) We couldn't find where we were going.

2) There was a creepy alleyway we had to walk down. For the record, the fact that there was five of us may deter some people from attacking us, but not all. 

3) The price was $10 for the night, which yay! Saving money! And okay, maybe at this point you're like, only $10 Toya? Don't you think that should've told you what was going to happen? You know, besides the alleyway? My answer: hush, I'm not done.

4) The pjs they gave me didn't fit. As you know, Asians tend to fall on the more...smaller side. But I got curves and those shorts did not fit. (Meanwhile, they're all concerned about the shirt not fitting, ha!)

5) The baths were closed, ugh. But the showers were available, yay! At this point, I'm like, 'alright, cool. We can shower, lay down, sleep, eat some snacks, whatever, and get in the baths in the morning'. Oh how wrong was I.

6) No snacks. At all.

7) No mats for the floor. I was sleeping on solid tile. No wait. We got blankets, so that was nice. But I had to either sleep straight on the tile with the blanket covering me, or sleep on the tile and be exposed to the air. I could've gotten a second blanket, but I was too tired to get up, and my injuries were flaring badly.

8) I missed four chapters in my audiobook. 

9) The lights were on in the sleeping area???

Wow, we're already at nine and I haven't even gotten to the 'best' part. And again...I seriously cannot make this up.

10) I'm finally asleep, or at least dozing. If I had been left alone, I would've woken up at least somewhat functioning. Instead, I was startled awake by some snoring. Loudly. 

11) Snoring? Okay, I can handle snoring. Not my first snorer. But then there was a second one who snored when the other one was breathing. There was just enough break in between the snores to keep you from sleeping.

12) Farting. Next came farting. 

13) There was the overachiever who farted and snored simultaneously too.

14) An older couple having a late night chat near our area because why not. They have nothing better to do around 2AM. Besides sleeping, but ha! Who needs that? Clearly no one in the jjimjilbang last night.

Okay, so at this point, its maybe 3AM? And I somehow found a way to doze off again. I thought that would be it.

It wasn't.

15) Some old man came into our area, which was kind of sectioned off from the other areas, and started yelling at us. In Korean. I had no idea what was going on, but at this point I figured this man was drunk and thought, 'hey, maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away'. But apparently, no. I found out later someone in my group made eye contact with him and that's why he stayed for a good moment...yelling...in Korean. Once he finally left, someone that I knew but didn't know joined us until then (like 3 more Fulbright ETAs joined our area) asked, "What did he say?". Apparently it was, "shut the hell up! I'm trying to sleep!" 

What fucking irony. So was I.

16) He didn't stop. He went around for a good while this morning, yelling at people who were snoring. He stopped after he had a rather lengthy and LOUD conversation with one of the snoring victims. That was around 4AM. So nice of them.

17) At 6AM, I gave up on sleeping and just sat up and waited for more people to give up on the lost cause that was sleep.

Then in the next three hours, the first few people in our group got up to leave. Then another. Then myself and one other person. Two people stayed still, but I'm sure they left not too long after us. We were all just done. 

Personally, my thoughts were along the lines of 'get me the fuck out of this city'.

Now, don't get me wrong. Jinju was a great place! Cute cafe that I went to twice, delicious food, and a fantastic lantern festival that's worth going to!

Just the...jjimjilbang was much to be desired. 

The experience was such a turnoff that instead of taking the direct bus to my town, I went directly to Daegu instead. I just...really needed to leave.

One day, I'll be back in Jinju. And if I'm spending the night, it won't be at a jjimjilbang. Either a hotel or airbnb. 

18) You thought the list was done. That's cute. Okay, so I'm in Daegu now. Which I've gotten pretty familiar with. We had brunch at the cutest place and ended up seeing Christopher Robin in theaters. Sounding good right? But then, I get grabbed by some old guy as I walk by him. 

Not sexually.

He just grabbed my arm.

As if he had the right to put his hands on me.

(Which he fucking does not.)

19) And then on the subway to the bus terminal in Daegu...some random old man started shouting. Unprovoked, I found out a few seconds later. And he just kept shouting for six stops. This time, I had no one to translate for me, so I can't tell you what he said, BUT! Some of the people around him either got uncomfortable or laughed it off. 

Wait.

Let me correct that.

The women got uncomfortable. The men laughed it off.

SO!

After what I thought would be a relaxing few hours in Daegu, ended up being not so relaxing.

At all.

The second I got home, I fell into bed and didn't move until dinner time. 

Lesson planning could wait.

#SaveOurToya

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PS. Festival, cafe, and brunch pictures will be uploaded on a separate post.

Week 14 - What do you mean it gets COLDER?

Basically everyone around me, telling me about the weather.

 I've been told that winter was coming.

 Brah, it is 5-degrees Celsius outside.
 (41-degrees Fahrenheit)

 What do you mean it gets COLDER??????

 It's barely October! And yet here I am, wearing long-everything, scarf, jacket, and a hat, wondering why I'm still cold. I'm about to experience a literal winter and I am not ready.

But don't get me wrong. I am excited for a few things this coming season. Like...snow~!

Having lived in Florida for 14-ish years, snow isn't something you see in person. Not really. And without knowing, I embraced the Floridian life quite a bit. Heat and sunshine? I know how to handle that pretty well. I still complain, but that's because it's still hot.

So yes, snow!

Had a dream this week that I saw gigantic snow flakes in front of my face. More than likely that dream was sparked by how cold its been getting, but hey. Snowflakes the size of my face? They're beautiful.

Who knew I was so artistic when I slept?

I'm also very interested to see how South Korea handles winter here. Such as, what foods pop up? Music? What about fashion? Will work/school have snow days? I mean, it's already different since I have most of Janurary off for the winter holidays, but work all of December. For me, that's a bit backwards, but I'm taking a wild guess that it's even colder in Janurary?

As the days grow colder, I will be getting my hands on hot teas and cocoa, thick blankets, and my package from home that has all my winter stuff in it. Like boots, socks (the fuzzy kind. What are we, plebs?), sweaters, and my wintercoat.

Word of warning to anyone moving to Korea and is stuck with the 2 suitcase rule as I was. You can have your winter clothes shipped (if you come during the summer and it's a literal heatwave in constant effect). Just make sure of one thing. If you're accustom to a more tropical climate, and lived in a place known for its sunshine, make sure your package gets to you within the first week of October. Because September will betray your trust in the coldest of ways that keeps getting colder.

If you wanna keep up with the shenangians that I find myself in, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya

13 Days Later...

It's been a while! 

Guess who's back~!


C'est moi!

That's right everyone, I am back. And crazily, on the thirteenth day...

As far as I'm concerned, that's not an unlucky number, especially since it's October. Goes well with the theme, don't you think?

I hope you've all taken care of yourselves while I've been away? If not, let's talk! My time away has given me breath and space that has helped me reach a calmer inner peace. A lot has happened, and over the next coming days, I hope to put up posts about most of it!

But first, I want to bring attention to my Thank You post. It's just a small thank you to everyone who reached out to me while I was away. That's really all I'm going to say on the matter as the post itself is rather self-explanatory.

I plan to update this post with links to the other posts that will reflect what happened while I was on my hiatus. And if any of you follow my Insta, I'm sure you have an idea of what I've been up to!  Everything will be linked below~!

I have just one more thing to say.

It feels good to be back.

Please click the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates on my latest shenanigans in Korea.

#SaveOurToya

9/26 - Hiatus
9/28 to 30 - Seoul and the Hospital
10/3 - The Mini-Break
10/6 - Busan

화이팅 (in More Ways than One)

Many of you have reached out to me, sharing your love and positivity during a time I wasn't able to do the same for myself. That is why this post is for you.

To you, who made me smile when I couldn't muster one up myself.

To you, who reminded me that I'm not alone.

To you, who talked me through my thoughts.

To you, who stood beside me.

To you, who listened.

To you, who cared.

To you...

I give you my thanks, my appreciation, and my affection. I know that many of you have your own problems that you're working through. And they are by no means less than someone else's. So, the fact that you took time to reach out means more to me than I can ever express. Know that if you need a willing ear or just someone to talk to, I am here for you.

Without hesitation.

#SaveOurToya

That time I went to Busan

An unexpected trip that just coincided with the Busan International Film Festival. The host family and I went on a road trip to Busan, which was an unexpected trip. But hey, when you have a four day weekend, may as well, right?

There's nothing crazy noteworthy I want to talk about. 

I am simply thankful that my host family wanted to take me with them and I was able to bond with my host sisters more. They don't live at home since they live in different parts of the country, but it's always a fun time when we're all together.

But I did realize something...now that I think about it. There is definitely a lot more Korean flying around that I'm not able to participate in. I felt more isolated than normal, but I know that wasn't their intention. I tend to be quiet just in general and I don't expect them to do everything in English just because I couldn't participate. I found my inclusions in other ways.

They always checked in with my injury, since there was a lot of walking. If I wandered off a little too far, someone would always make an effort to wait with me. There were even times when they would ask about how something works in America or how to say something in English. 

And whenever we ran into another Fulbright ETA (which happened both days we were there), they would ask me about them.

It was on this trip, that I was reminded that I needed to look at the small actions of others. Because sometimes, that's what they're able to do during that time.

I hope you enjoy the pictures!

If you wanna keep up with my latest shenanigans, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates!

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The Mini-Break

During my hiatus, I thought a lot about my status of renewing my contract or not. We had October 3rd off for 개천절. And thank goodness that we did, because I was emotionally dead by that point.

It's why I was thinking about renewing my contract. It got real rough at work.

Given, I've been here for a short time in the grand scheme, and it's not something I need to make decision about now.

But.

My thoughts still wandered and I decided to give it some serious thought. Especially since I was on a hiatus and was taking the time to care for myself. Ignoring my thoughts or feelings is the exact opposite of what I told myself I needed to do.

Now, as many of you know, I want to do all three years with Fulbright.

At least...I did...

And I'm not saying that I'll switch over to EPIK or maybe go to a different country. I've seriously contemplated going back home after this year.

Crazy! I know!

But, at the current moment, that's just where my head is and I wanted to make note of it. I'm not disregarding this feeling or thought because I made it during a not so good time for myself. It's still a very real feeling.

It's not shade at Korea or anything.

I'm just contemplating if teaching is really my thing...

It's especially hard when you're faced with misbehaving children. And I'm not talking about tantrum-ready, screaming children. I'm talking about kids who are quicker to curse you out and call you a pig. I've always said kids were mean, but sometimes...they can be particularly vicious.

Behavior like this is hard to correct. It's doable, but hard. And since we have a language barrier between each other, it's even harder. But you can be proud of me. I did not let it stop me. I'm not afraid to stop a lesson midway through and get serious. 

And why should I be afraid to do that? It'll ruin the lesson? Let's be real. The misbehavior has already ruined it.

I had had enough and pulled a full halt on everything. I cut them off. I stared them down. I spoke over them. I made sure I had everyone's attention. Then in as simple as possible with words I know they know, I told them: "No. I do not like bad words. You will not say 'fuck you', 'what the fuck', or 'mother fucker'. That is bad. No more."

Of course, there had to be that one kid who called me a 'pig' to lighten the mood. Shut that right down as well.

I've yet to escalate this to their homeroom teachers or my coteacher. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't. Maybe, it's because I want to try to handle it on my own, as I hadn't tried yet. It could be because of anything. As far as I see it, if it does happen again, I'll get serious again and bring it up to their teachers then.

I did not fly all the way across the planet to be disrespected or made fun of. And yes, kids are kids. But it doesn't mean they have to be horrible. That crap won't fly in the real world. And frankly, it doesn't matter that they're only elementary school kids, because they're still in the real world. I'm in the real world.

This behavior definitely will play a part in influencing whether I want to be here another year or not. To do three years would be beautiful, but...if reality is telling me differently, then it's telling me differently.

Are any of you having these thoughts of renewing your contracts or staying at your place of employment for another year?

If you wanna see what else I get up to while in Korea, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya