28 May, 2019

Changes Are Coming

It's been about two months since my anxiety attack over trash. Lots of things have happened since then.

I've been to Jeju for the Fulbright Spring Conference, Sports Day at my school, various Korean holidays, and even, my parents came to visit me.

Each moment has something that I could talk about, but for some reason, I found myself struggling to talk about it. At first, I wasn't sure what's been going on, but my words were lacking.

Which is odd.

In Jeju, I was able to hear the ocean every night as I fell asleep.

At Sports Day, I got many awesome pictures of my students being...well, awesome.

During the Korean holidays, I was able to recharge a bit and hang with friends.

With my parents, I've noticed how much I've changed since I left Florida.

These are all good things with stories tied to them!

And yet...I'm left speechless in the worst of ways.

In roughly one month, my first year in Korea will be finished and I think...that's what's stopping me.

In one month, despite the fact that I'm not leaving, I am still saying goodbye to those who are. With each of them goes a part of Korea that has made my time here so memorable. I've already begun to notice it with others who've left that aren't Fulbrighters.

Things are shifting and changing as the circumstances are.

It makes sense, though.

It does.

And I supposed I could say I'm making peace with it.

Now that I'm being honest with myself, I can see the sadness that's holding my voice back.

Changes are coming and I need to find my new voice for the year.

#SaveOurToya

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