Teacher No Mo'

That's right.

I'm not a teacher anymore.

I'm finally going to start my dream as a federal employee! Yeah, you read that right.

I got a federal job~!

Starting February 18th, 2020...I will be a HR Specialist.

When I graduated high school, the goal was to be a French/German/English translator. The me of then had no idea that not only would my language goals change, but that I would be a teacher.

I don't think I ever thought I would be a teacher.

And yet, here I am.

Well...was.

After I finished my last class, I felt...relieved. Teaching takes a lot of time and effort that you notice...and don't notice. And now, it's finally done.

I think it helps that my next adventure is actually in the realm of what I have actual work experience in. The same work experience that had me pursue the Master's that I did. It's a good feeling that I have.

I'm happy.

Just a few more days now...

#SaveOurToya

Last Day

Today is my official last day of teaching at my elementary school.

Not much is going through my head. Maybe because I still have two more classes left to teacher and it's only 8:30 in the morning. My last two classes are my grade 3s and 4s. While I'm not as connected to them as I am my Grade 6s and 5s, the bond is still thriving just the same.

My Grade 3 class were my first proper class. I got to start their English journey with them. Some days, I don't feel much like a teacher, but I know that with this class...I got them from getting their barely known alphabet to making sentences. I am so proud of how far they've come. While I am sad that I won't be such an intricate part of their journey anymore, I hope they continue their progress!

My Grade 4s....oh boy. It's been a battle since the very first lesson. There has been every nightmare a parent has experienced from their children's Terrible Twos outside of hospital visits. Would I go through it all again? Yeah, I would. Despite the wild emotions, we also had fun! This class took me a lot longer to understand and how to teach, but because of our hardships, the three of us have a solid bond. Even if they picked up my sassiness and use it against me. (Rude.)

I've also seen such growth in my Grade 4s that I get blown away every time in class. And today...today is my last day teaching them.

Now, as I mentioned...I only have two classes to teach. Which means I already finished teaching my 5th and 6th graders. Now these two classes are completely different from each other. My grade 5s...wild. I have no other word for them. My Grade 4s were emotionally wild, this class...they were just everything wild. The question you should ask yourself when it comes to this class: what didn't happen?

I'm not kidding. There was a time I would dread teaching this class. But yesterday, when I walked into their classroom for the last time, I found myself not wanting the lesson to end. I bonded with every single one of them whether it was through English or my (still) boss skills on the soccer pitch.

I remember the lesson that I shared with the VP for our first class together. They told me they knew 53 words. Spelling...not so much. But if they saw the picture, they knew the word. There were no full thoughts in English or even telling me how they were.

Not only can they now tell you how they're feeling, the weather, and what they do on the weekends...they can argue for more playtime.

Of course...that's nothing like my 6th graders who negotiated for American candy that I couldn't buy in Korea.

I was offended and proud at the same damn time. They may not have had all the finer details (a, the, tenses), but I swear. If those kids don't end up in law, the world is missing out on some fantastic negotiators. Korean or English.

I would have to say my Grade 6s were the easiest to get along with and the easiest to teach. They soaked it up and were quick to use what they learned. Be it for the lesson or against me.

I tried teaching them out of the textbook, but that was nothing when we stepped away from the textbook and I showed them a different way. They picked it up much quicker, and I feel confident they will succeed in Middle School and not be left behind.

Which is a common concern when it comes to students who learn rural before heading into the city for middle school.

Wow...I guess a lot is going through my head.

These next two hours, as of course my last two classes are back to back, may go fast or they may go slow.

Either way...they're ending on high note.

#SaveOurToya

300 Questions

As a teacher, I've learned that writing my own tests is essential to my students' education.

There are, of course, pros and cons.

Pros:
- Vocab is definitely something they've studied
- Format is familiar
- Directions are simplified

Cons:
- Takes a lot of time
- Students still don't read the directions
- Could be very long

My usual practice of assessing my student's abilities are vocabulary quizzes. They don't know this, but next year, they'll be tested on more than just spelling. This year, I have taken the time to gear them up to be more effective in their English. Speaking sentences and a better grasp on their spelling and listening abilities. I've also worked on their reading abilities. But the only  TEST  they've had are spelling tests.

In addition, my school likes to challenge the students in creative or 'not so creative' ways. For English, they've come up with the idea of a semester exam. The exam is completely voluntary, covers the entire semester, and they could win a prize depending on how many points they earn on it!

I think it's a fun idea.

What's not so fun about it is that it is a test that I write.

Four different times.

During everything that has been happening this last semester, I wrote up 4 exams with a total of  300 questions. Each exam has 7 parts that cover their textbook information, storybook stuff, and whatever other shenanigans we may have covered that semester. If I was going to write this exam and the students could win something, I am going to test. them.

It took me two weeks to complete these exams. Matching the formatting, working with Korean Microsoft Word, and keeping my students' varied levels in mind, I completed the task asked of me.

I'm pretty proud of the exams that I wrote.

And I think the reason I was so proud of them is because my students were at a level that I felt comfortable challenging them the way I did. They've come so far in their English.

I am extremely proud in their abilities!!

Now, as many of my posts, there is a 'can someone explain to me' moment that follows right after setting the stage.

That moment is now.

Can someone explain to me why I was told that 'so-and-so' would be printing out these exams so I don't have to worry about it, and yet someone still came looking for me, asking where the exams were?

Also, why was this person told I was proctoring (invigilating) the exam? I didn't even know when the exam would be today.

The only exam I knew about was the one during 5th period due to extenuating circumstances. I had to sit on that one, and I didn't mind. I wasn't teaching and could do it.

Clearly, there was some miscommunication (yet again).

While I knew the exam was today, I didn't know 100% if I would be sitting in on it or not. I had hoped that if I was needed for the exam, someone would come tell me within 5 minutes of the exam per their usual MO.

Alas, what actually happened wasn't that.

There was me who had no idea who was taking the test, when exactly the test was, and if I needed to be there.

There was the test organizer who I have no idea where they were or what they arranged.

There was the admin person who was supposed to print them out, but didn't know? (I think...)

There was the test proctor (invigilator) who thought I was handling the printing and would join.

So!

When the test was supposed to start (7th period, surprise, surprise), whatever false sense of security was felt for this exam went out the window. I don't know who dropped the ball and I'm not mad at them.

The only thing I hope is that people will start to wake up and see what is happening. It's a bit painful to put so much time and effort into my projects, but get little return.

Did you know I wasn't even included in the teacher group photo they had this week?

#SaveOurToya

Spring - 봄

Small confession time.

I submitted a small piece to Infusion, Fulbright Korea's magazine. Per it's about section, "[t]he magazine aims to capture the diversity of the Fulbright Korea experience by publishing work from Fulbright Korea senior scholars, junior researchers, English teaching assistants, and program alumni".

Though I aimed to see my name in print, I'd been offered the opportunity for a web publication. Which is still a fantastic opportunity!

My editor and I worked on my piece I titled "Spring - 봄" for a little over a week. Between our teaching schedules, life schedules, and sleep schedules, we were able to create the piece below. I want to give a special thanks to Kyle, for seeing my piece's potential and helping it bloom.

Unfortunately, it wasn't published online. But that's okay. You win some, you lose some.

However, fortunately for me, I have an online platform that allows me to publish whatever I want.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Springtime is for new beginnings and cleaning up the hot messes you’ve carried through your life the previous year.

As 2019 began to trickle in, I noticed bits of 2018 overflowing into the new year.

And the thing is?

I felt every moment of it.

I'm pretty sure most, if not all of us can summarize 2018 exhaustively as, 'What the what?'

Not to worry, I'm not about to relive 2018. I'm talking about new beginnings, remember? While others are busy spring cleaning and getting ready for the next year, Fulbrighters in Korea are focused on whether they choose to renew or not.

For some of us, the decision is easy, while others struggle. Like the onslaught of pollen, so many thoughts fly around clogging up the path towards decisions we wish to make, and really...we just want to breath again. At the beginning of our grant years, we all came with goals in mind.

As each day gets carried off by the falling leaves, frozen fingers are challenged to keep up with the changing seasons and its new demands. Through our grant year we are tested and we change our minds about our goals, possibly multiple times.

I've spoken with various Fulbrighters in Korea. Some of them have similar stories, whereas others are definitely having a much different experience during this 'should I stay or should I go' period. Just like the beginnings of spring, it's a hot/cold situation. Winter still clinging despite everyone hoping to see flowers bloom and not wear long padding anymore.

A Fulbrighter explained it as a game of Uno when someone plays the Reverse Uno card. In one breath, the decision is going down a steady path, and the next...it's going the complete opposite. It's these moments that we weather out. We talk to our fellow Fulbrighters, we continue having our experiences in Korea without pause. A few of us are at ease during this time, and they are the lucky ones. They get to play an Uno game without many plot twists. The other game that is being played has a multitude of unexpected twists and turns, and there isn't an end in sight until all the cards have been played.

And a decision has been made.

If a Fulbrighter isn't jumping between hot/cold and Reverse cards, then did they really move abroad? Did they truly challenge themselves and commit to being cultural ambassadors?

A Fulbrighter's first year is a year of realizations and new experiences. From humid summer days at Orientation to cool evenings during our first months of teaching to the freezing winds bringing snow, we start to learn more about a country so different from our own.

A country that thrives despite the weather or hardships around them. Just like a Fulbrighter.

As snow melts and the cherry blossoms touch the sky, we begin to make our final decisions. The decision that will outline the next three hundred and sixty-five days of our revolving lives.

Do we stay for a second year, and deepen our bond with Korea?

Do we stay for a third?

Do we switch programs, because we just completed our third year and aren't ready to leave yet?

Do we stay calm, because the decision was never really a problem to begin with?

Or do we go home, and see what happens next?

So, perhaps Spring time isn't just about new beginnings, but for the hope of something more.

And maybe that’s something worth carrying into the Summer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There you have it. My first adventure into being published (not on my blog). Tell me your thoughts. What did you think about Spring? Could you move across the world for a year? What would you do in Korea if you could visit? Would you stay for a second or third year? Don't be shy!

And as always,

#SaveOurToya

Undermining

In Korea, it's important in saving face. It shows respect to those around you that you keep potentially embarrassing conversations out of the ears of others.

I have mixed feelings about it, as I tend to confront situations head on, but I do my best to respect Korean culture. I am a guest of the culture. Not my place to say anything. Sometimes, people wait to tell me something, or they'll say it right then. I'm fine with either way.

Except when it undermines my authority as a teacher.

Then I just get pissed off.

I have established an "English Hour" in one of the many classes my fifth and sixth graders get to see me. It isn't even a full hour. Classes run for 40 mins, and I usually wait five minutes into class before establishing the English Hour rules. So really, these kids have 35 minutes where they have to only speak English. I didn't think I was asking for much.

I've had many language teachers pull that out on me at all levels of language acquisition. And my 5th and 6th graders have had 2 to 3 years of English education by now.

And yet...when another teacher subbed in for their usual homeroom teacher, she not only spoke Korean to them during that time (despite usually speaking more English...?), she confronted me in front of the class that and "English Hour" is too challenging for them.

What? Does she think moving to a whole new country where you don't speak the language and then have to teach a subject that is not in your area of expertise is easy? Do my students think it's easy for me to have a language barrier in all aspects of my life while in Korea?

Spoilers, it's not. I've had to adapt and adjust as needed. I've learned key Korean phrases. I've had improve my non-verbal speaking skills. I've had to stay respectful to those I would've snapped at months ago. I've had to find a new balance for the sake of my sanity. I've faced more fears living in Korea these last 9 months than I've had in the states.

English Hour is not only a place to indirectly test the students in their knowledge, but also to help them develop other acquisition skills when words FAIL them. Have them draw what they're trying to say. Have them use their body as an instrument of language. Use other words to say the word you don't know. Hell, ask to use my phone for google translate.

Anything, as long as it's not in Korean.

And yet...

...my students still speak Korean. The teachers don't respect my request for English only.

It's frustrating, but it's a fact. One that I'll have to work with throughout the year. I am hopeful that I can get some if not more than half of my students respecting my English Hour request. It'll just take time.

#SaveOurToya

It Goes With Saying

During a discussion about what to get for my school while on a business trip to Taiwan, I accidentally read my friend's message wrong.

What the message said: Yeah, that should be enough.

What I read: You should be enough.

For a hot minute I felt a profound sense of happiness overcome me to the point I almost started blushing in happiness. However, my brain quickly corrected that interpretation.

Silly me, for reading that wrong.

When I told my friend what happened, they told me 'that goes without saying'.

Between calculating how much money I would need to exchange and whether I was an idiot for leaving my American credit card at home, I began to think if phrases like 'you should be enough' truly do go without saying? Could it be that this unspoken norm has damaged society over the years?

Has it damaged me?

I mean, let's think about it.

In its most simplest form, hearing good things about you isn't a bad thing. I would say it's a good thing. For a few seconds there, I felt good about myself. But then, that part of me that doesn't believe in myself, automatically reread my friend's statement and I realized I read wrong. I wasn't being complimented. The amount of money I wanted to exchange was being complimented.

-sigh-

I don't want to weigh my self-worth on the amount of compliments I've received, because it isn't about what other's see in me. It's about what I see in me, but when I'm not sure what it is I should be seeing, a second opinion never hurts.

Until it does.

Being in Korea, I've had my weight made fun of. My skin color has been labelled as dirty. My hair characterized as wild.

The only compliments I've received were in the area of my acne clearing up and my voice sounding like a movie star.

Whereas in the states, I was praised on my work ethic and ability to be empathetic. It's no surprise that I consider these two qualities as my strongest? In fact, I went and got a Master's Degree where I could combine them as a career option for myself.

My quick thinking and adaptability made me competent on the soccer field. My coach and other teammates told me that they liked how I played. After nine years, I'm not the last pick when I play a soccer pick-up game. In fact, my mother told me that had I had the heart in the sport, I probably would be on a professional team. And if I was on a professional team, you know damn well that I would go for a national team.

Just saying.

Would I have gone down a different path had I been complimented in other areas? If my passion would've been stoked more toward soccer or if I had been told my math skills were fantastic as well, instead of teaching English, I could be a professional soccer player who does research within the areas of sociological diligence.

Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed.

What I do have control over is my present and my future.

I have begun complimenting myself when I come across situations that make me uneasy or my anxiety holds me hostage. And good lord are those compliments hard to say, but that's when I need to hear them the most.

I can't rely on someone else to praise me. I need to believe more in myself anyway.

Remember when I mentioned I was going to Taiwan for a workshop? Here are some truths that I've been trying to overcome these last two months in preparation for Taiwan.

1. Many times I wanted to decline going. I do not think I will make a good impression due to all my nerves. I'm making things burdensome for my school.

2. Many times I felt financially unbalanced. In my goal to save money this year, I've been hit with a few purchases in the last month that has left me not meeting my target goals. And while I'm not paying for a majority of this trip, I still worry that I'll spend more money than I need too.

3. Many times I had to remind myself to be social while in Taiwan. I wouldn't say that I am at hermit levels of being social, I still tend to shy away from large crowds or being social at a normal level. I've been working hard on this, but I still have my backslides. I didn't want one to happen while in Taiwan.

4. Many times I needed to tell myself that I earned this opportunity. And while I'm not sure what part of my Fulbright profile made me qualify for this opportunity, something stood out to the Commission. I just only wish I knew what it was.

It was during these many times that I would tell myself a compliment.

1. I am smart.

2. I am strong.

3. I am amazing.

4. I am worthy.

Each time, it got easier to get through the negative. My voice got firmer.

It goes without saying?

No. It goes with saying.

#SaveOurToya

To My Precious Sixth Graders

Though our time was short, I have seen each of you grow in different ways. I'm very sad that we won't be able to spend more time together, but I wish you the very best! I only ask that you always try in your English classes! Right or wrong, just try. You can do it, I believe in you! 화이팅~!

영어선생님이에요

Today my Vice Principal told me my teaching style has greatly improved. In fact, she said I deserve a certificate for being a real teacher.

And yet...I have mixed feelings about this statement...

One is joyful and the other one is resentful.

I'm well aware that I wasn't exactly a teacher when I first started out back in September. Before then, I'd taught only two classes with another English teacher. Outside of that, I've only given presentations to my peers (woo, class presentations~!). So, to hear that I've improved is fantastic!

But...why didn't she give me any tips or suggestions on how to get better?

Yes, I have a TEFL and TESOL certificate that say I am qualified to teach English to non-English speakers, but let's be honest...attending classes, drafting lesson plans, reading methodologies...theory is one thing, and the practical is a whole other beast.

Some days I struggled, other days I was able to keep my head over the water. There were even some days that I could stand in the water with confidence. Those first six months were rough, but they were doable. I'm proud that I was able to achieve what I have.

But...a little help would've been great. Not going to lie. Especially since I never really knew what I needed to ask to improve. Knowing what I do now, it was getting to know the students and having them know me. It was through this process that I was able to figure out what kind of teacher I was.

I connect with my students by being silly with them. I get my students improving by sticking to a routine. Heck, even the usage of my minimal Korean has shown my students that as they try to learn my language, I'm also learning their's. I kid you not, the second I told them to get out their 공책, they not only flipped out, they got more attentive.

Did I have to learn Korean to be a better teacher? Maybe. For the position that I am in, at the school that I am in, it did make me a better teacher. Had my circumstances been different, it may not have been what made me "better".

What did make me a better teacher was the amount of time I've put in for my students and for myself. I feel that at the beginning, I'd only been doing half of that. I was putting in too much effort for one of those, and it was hurting me. Until I figured out my balance, I wasn't doing anyone any good. Not my students, and definitely not me.

Six months to get comfortable in a new land.

Six months of teaching young children to first get comfortable with English.

Six months from when I left everything that I knew.

I can now say, with confidence, I am an English teacher.

영어선생님이에요.

#SaveOurToya

Depends on your school

Some of you who've found my blog, may be contemplating Fulbright Korea? If so, then this post may be of interest to you!

As right now, I'm about to drop some knowledge about the program that you don't see until you're in the program.

Everything can be boiled down to four words: depends on your school.

How many classes you teach? - depends on your school.

What kind of classes you teach? - depends on your school.

Homestay Family? - depends on your school.

Coteacher's interaction with you? - depends on your school.

None of us ETAs have the same story. From one ETA who teaches 8 classes to another who teaches 25. Oh yeah, you may be teaching over 22 hours a week. Of course, you'll be paid for the extra work, but still. It's overwhelming and intimidating, but once you get into the flow of things, it's doable. You may be lucky that you don't have to create a new lesson for each hour and that you can use the same lesson for all the same grade levels. Unless, you're like me...

Me, being an Elementary ETA who teaches a total of 20 students, with my smallest class being 2 students big and my largest class being 11 students small. Practically creating new lessons at a constant rate. 

Fulbright can prepare you for some of the cultural differences and potential misunderstandings during Orientation. They can also help with your language skills. Oh! And polish some of your teaching skills through workshops and FEP teaching .

But, once you leave Orientation and you're at your placement...your school is who guides you through the rest of your year. You will get tested emotionally, physically, mentally, psychologically, and any other '-ally' that I can't think of right now. 

It is literally like any other job, if I were honest. Your first month at a new job will have you thinking, 'I love this job!' to 'Ugh, why did I take this job?'. When you become a teacher abroad, it's a bit longer than a month. And once you feel at peace with your job, you realize it's been about six months. That is why a lot of people who teach abroad tell you, 'the first six months are the hardest'. 

Probably a little harder than they need to be, but a positive attitude helps you get through the worst of it. How you look at your situations, every single one of them, will shape your experience during your grant year. While a lot of your day to day is dependent on your school, all of it is dependent on you.

Are you going to look at your situation in a negative way, making it worse, or are you going to be positive, and make the best of what you have?

I could be upset that I have to create 22 new lesson plans a week, or I could just take this as an opportunity to show my students more fun ways to learn English.

#SaveOurToya

Rolling With the Punches

One thing about living in Korea, you tend to find things you don't understand.

For example, why do so many changes happen last minute?

It may not be last minute that the change was going to be implemented, but by the time I found out about it, well...it sometimes fell a little bit after last minute. However, it generally happens within five minutes of the impending event. Remember when I got a three-hour long class that originally was supposed to be only 40 mins long? (See post here)

Exactly.

I've contemplated many ways over these last six months on how to better get informed on the on-goings of my school.

One of those ways was asking for the school calendar. It's definitely all in Korean, but sitting down with it, translating it... It's helped loads. I can now initiate conversation with other teachers to ask what's going on for 'XXX' event or have an idea if a class of mine will get cancelled. And as I get more engaged about certain events, the more willing other teachers were to talk to me without prompting.

Whether it was about school or not.

I was getting informed!

Sometimes, even a month in advanced.

It also helped in connecting with the students. When I knew that a field trip was coming up, or a festival competition, I could start asking the kids if they felt ready or prepared for the event. Generally, I also tagged along, but it's more about the bonding before and after the event that were a great way to connect with the other students.

But, best to keep in mind...it doesn't solve all notification problems.

There is still an established culture of changing things up as they organically come up.

In Korea, you really learn to roll with the punches.

#SaveOurToya

Crying At Work

That's right. I was crying at work today.

They weren't sad tears, but relieved ones. 

I think...

After the week from hell, I had another case of students using rude language in the classroom. Do you know what it's like to hear a student say, "what the fuck?" after you give them an assignment? A student who, four years ago was in kindergarten? 

And it's not just one student. It's many students. Who say it at different times, on different days.

I'm well aware that they're kids, who don't have a true understanding of what they're saying...but...come on. 

I've stopped class mid-session and called them out on it.

I've said sternly, many times, "No. We do not say that."

I've even kicked two kids out of my classroom, and spoke to them one-on-one. 

For four months, of constantly telling them to stop, that it makes me sad, that its not nice, I'm finally brought to tears. 

But not because they cursed me out. That, while hurtful, isn't something that could bring me to tears. They're a couple of decades to early for that. 

No, I was brought to tears because of the apology I just received. 

My fourth grade class, the hellion-class, the ones who have tried me every day, just all said their apologies to me in various states of devastation. It came to my attention that the class was made aware of how I felt when they spoke rudely to me, around me, against me. 

And in return, they asked me to meet them in the science classroom, so they could apologize.

Y'all, I don't even care that they said it in Korean (mostly) and that one of the teachers translated for me. I don't even care that they made me ugly cry in front of them. 

All I know and feel, is that my heart isn't as heavy anymore. After their individual apologies, I had a teacher translate my teary response.

Here's what I told them...more or less...

"I am so happy that you've all apologized. I don't think you understand how much it hurts my heart when you speak rudely. I am so far from home, and I want that we have fun together. I want to make good memories with all of you. My heart is much lighter now. Thank you."

Then I gave them all hugs, because hugs make everything better. It didn't matter that I was ugly crying...some of them were ugly crying...no, that's not what mattered. 

What mattered was that we were moving passed this tough time together. That they understood my feelings and I understood their's. 

That is why I don't think I can classify my tears as tears of relief. It wasn't relief that I was feeling...not exactly. I was feeling an overwhelming sense of connection. I felt that finally, we connected. That we understood each other. 

And now for the rest of the day, I have such a delicate balance on my emotions. I can feel myself sometimes tipping over towards, 'gurl, you abou'ta cry', and have to jolt myself back to a steady spot before I ugly cry in the 교무실 and we don't need that. 

No one needs that.

Well, I probably do. But I can cry at home when I have my hot chocolate with some marshmallows that apparently Daiso sells. 

#SaveOurToya

Those Little...

You ever get so frustrated to the point of wanting to cry, but you can't because you're just so angry?

As of right now, I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I'm pretty sure common sense has been forcibly thrown out the window and children are having run of the town...uh, school.

How else can all the crap that has happened...well, happen?

These kids need a whole lot of stability and consequences.

These kids need a super nanny.

But what these kids have is baby-glove-consequences.

And me.

And I don't know about those baby-glove-consequences, but I'm ready to do this. These kids can either act right, or go down to the Staff room and tell the adults why I sent them. Hell, I might even go over to Daiso, find myself some nice stationary, so I can write down the truth (because I can't trust them to tell them why they were sent), and then tell the student to go bring it to the VP.

"Today, I told the teacher she'll die."

"Today, I told a student if they wanted to die."

"I'd rather scream across the classroom than listen to the teacher."

"I decided to assault another student."

This list could go on.

No, really...it can.

I don't know about other English teachers abroad, but is this common behavior in your classes? I can only speak of my own teaching experiences and what I remember from when I was in school. I can never remember things getting so OUT OF HAND...

And back in the states, we had a whole list of consequences. There was no tolerance for violence in school.

Detention.

In-school suspension.

Out-of-school suspension.

Expulsion.

You can ask me if these things exist at this school, and I can honestly tell you that only one does...and its explusion.

Listen. I understand when things go bad, you want to get rid of the problem. And sometimes, that's what you have to do. But before you do that, you have to work with the problem. And I mean actually work with the problem.

Not just hope for the best.

For good behavior, reward it.

For bad behavior, acknowledge it and work through it. Together.

Clearly, a kid has anger issues. And clearly, many of the students don't know how to express themselves without getting physical, period.

So...less baby gloves and more actually helping these kids.

At this point, you might be wondering, "Damn Toya, that's a good point. But what are you doing to make a difference in these kids lives?"
Fair question, Fam.

And I'm not saying that I'll hold a culture class titled, 'mad, black woman' and teach them the ins and outs of where that stereotype came from, but these kids will learn something new about me.

I've already instilled my 'heads down' policy. I only use it when it gets too loud and no one is listening. Today, all I wanted them to do was write their vocabulary words. Instead, I had shouting across the classroom and students not staying in their seats. Three minutes in, I had had enough. Yesterday, a student assaulted another student with some scissors. This child could've been very badly hurt. Thankfully, there's only a few scratches. I have no idea what started that altercation or who said what, but frankly...it shouldn't have gotten that far to begin with.

That's why, three minutes in, heads down was activated. But, it was a little different than normal...

I put a touch of...'if ya'll don't put cho'heads down r'ght now, I'mma give you a reason ta be screamin' across this room' into my tone. It was the quickest I've ever seen them shut up and quiet down.

Oh ho ho, Toya-teacher don't play.

And what a wonderful lesson to learn!

That being said...

I'm about to go teach a class with all of my students in it, so that's roughly twenty students, and it's to practice singing an English song for the festival next week. And we both know, things are about to get wild.

#SaveOurToya

If you wanna keep up with the shenangians that are...well, my students at this point...go ahead and hit the 'follow' button on the right! And if something spoke to you at all during this post, please don't hesitate to leave a comment!

Week 14 - What do you mean it gets COLDER?

Basically everyone around me, telling me about the weather.

 I've been told that winter was coming.

 Brah, it is 5-degrees Celsius outside.
 (41-degrees Fahrenheit)

 What do you mean it gets COLDER??????

 It's barely October! And yet here I am, wearing long-everything, scarf, jacket, and a hat, wondering why I'm still cold. I'm about to experience a literal winter and I am not ready.

But don't get me wrong. I am excited for a few things this coming season. Like...snow~!

Having lived in Florida for 14-ish years, snow isn't something you see in person. Not really. And without knowing, I embraced the Floridian life quite a bit. Heat and sunshine? I know how to handle that pretty well. I still complain, but that's because it's still hot.

So yes, snow!

Had a dream this week that I saw gigantic snow flakes in front of my face. More than likely that dream was sparked by how cold its been getting, but hey. Snowflakes the size of my face? They're beautiful.

Who knew I was so artistic when I slept?

I'm also very interested to see how South Korea handles winter here. Such as, what foods pop up? Music? What about fashion? Will work/school have snow days? I mean, it's already different since I have most of Janurary off for the winter holidays, but work all of December. For me, that's a bit backwards, but I'm taking a wild guess that it's even colder in Janurary?

As the days grow colder, I will be getting my hands on hot teas and cocoa, thick blankets, and my package from home that has all my winter stuff in it. Like boots, socks (the fuzzy kind. What are we, plebs?), sweaters, and my wintercoat.

Word of warning to anyone moving to Korea and is stuck with the 2 suitcase rule as I was. You can have your winter clothes shipped (if you come during the summer and it's a literal heatwave in constant effect). Just make sure of one thing. If you're accustom to a more tropical climate, and lived in a place known for its sunshine, make sure your package gets to you within the first week of October. Because September will betray your trust in the coldest of ways that keeps getting colder.

If you wanna keep up with the shenangians that I find myself in, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya

13 Days Later...

It's been a while! 

Guess who's back~!


C'est moi!

That's right everyone, I am back. And crazily, on the thirteenth day...

As far as I'm concerned, that's not an unlucky number, especially since it's October. Goes well with the theme, don't you think?

I hope you've all taken care of yourselves while I've been away? If not, let's talk! My time away has given me breath and space that has helped me reach a calmer inner peace. A lot has happened, and over the next coming days, I hope to put up posts about most of it!

But first, I want to bring attention to my Thank You post. It's just a small thank you to everyone who reached out to me while I was away. That's really all I'm going to say on the matter as the post itself is rather self-explanatory.

I plan to update this post with links to the other posts that will reflect what happened while I was on my hiatus. And if any of you follow my Insta, I'm sure you have an idea of what I've been up to!  Everything will be linked below~!

I have just one more thing to say.

It feels good to be back.

Please click the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates on my latest shenanigans in Korea.

#SaveOurToya

9/26 - Hiatus
9/28 to 30 - Seoul and the Hospital
10/3 - The Mini-Break
10/6 - Busan

That time I went to Busan

An unexpected trip that just coincided with the Busan International Film Festival. The host family and I went on a road trip to Busan, which was an unexpected trip. But hey, when you have a four day weekend, may as well, right?

There's nothing crazy noteworthy I want to talk about. 

I am simply thankful that my host family wanted to take me with them and I was able to bond with my host sisters more. They don't live at home since they live in different parts of the country, but it's always a fun time when we're all together.

But I did realize something...now that I think about it. There is definitely a lot more Korean flying around that I'm not able to participate in. I felt more isolated than normal, but I know that wasn't their intention. I tend to be quiet just in general and I don't expect them to do everything in English just because I couldn't participate. I found my inclusions in other ways.

They always checked in with my injury, since there was a lot of walking. If I wandered off a little too far, someone would always make an effort to wait with me. There were even times when they would ask about how something works in America or how to say something in English. 

And whenever we ran into another Fulbright ETA (which happened both days we were there), they would ask me about them.

It was on this trip, that I was reminded that I needed to look at the small actions of others. Because sometimes, that's what they're able to do during that time.

I hope you enjoy the pictures!

If you wanna keep up with my latest shenanigans, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right to get updates!

#SaveOurToya

The Mini-Break

During my hiatus, I thought a lot about my status of renewing my contract or not. We had October 3rd off for 개천절. And thank goodness that we did, because I was emotionally dead by that point.

It's why I was thinking about renewing my contract. It got real rough at work.

Given, I've been here for a short time in the grand scheme, and it's not something I need to make decision about now.

But.

My thoughts still wandered and I decided to give it some serious thought. Especially since I was on a hiatus and was taking the time to care for myself. Ignoring my thoughts or feelings is the exact opposite of what I told myself I needed to do.

Now, as many of you know, I want to do all three years with Fulbright.

At least...I did...

And I'm not saying that I'll switch over to EPIK or maybe go to a different country. I've seriously contemplated going back home after this year.

Crazy! I know!

But, at the current moment, that's just where my head is and I wanted to make note of it. I'm not disregarding this feeling or thought because I made it during a not so good time for myself. It's still a very real feeling.

It's not shade at Korea or anything.

I'm just contemplating if teaching is really my thing...

It's especially hard when you're faced with misbehaving children. And I'm not talking about tantrum-ready, screaming children. I'm talking about kids who are quicker to curse you out and call you a pig. I've always said kids were mean, but sometimes...they can be particularly vicious.

Behavior like this is hard to correct. It's doable, but hard. And since we have a language barrier between each other, it's even harder. But you can be proud of me. I did not let it stop me. I'm not afraid to stop a lesson midway through and get serious. 

And why should I be afraid to do that? It'll ruin the lesson? Let's be real. The misbehavior has already ruined it.

I had had enough and pulled a full halt on everything. I cut them off. I stared them down. I spoke over them. I made sure I had everyone's attention. Then in as simple as possible with words I know they know, I told them: "No. I do not like bad words. You will not say 'fuck you', 'what the fuck', or 'mother fucker'. That is bad. No more."

Of course, there had to be that one kid who called me a 'pig' to lighten the mood. Shut that right down as well.

I've yet to escalate this to their homeroom teachers or my coteacher. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't. Maybe, it's because I want to try to handle it on my own, as I hadn't tried yet. It could be because of anything. As far as I see it, if it does happen again, I'll get serious again and bring it up to their teachers then.

I did not fly all the way across the planet to be disrespected or made fun of. And yes, kids are kids. But it doesn't mean they have to be horrible. That crap won't fly in the real world. And frankly, it doesn't matter that they're only elementary school kids, because they're still in the real world. I'm in the real world.

This behavior definitely will play a part in influencing whether I want to be here another year or not. To do three years would be beautiful, but...if reality is telling me differently, then it's telling me differently.

Are any of you having these thoughts of renewing your contracts or staying at your place of employment for another year?

If you wanna see what else I get up to while in Korea, please hit the 'FOLLOW' button on the right!

#SaveOurToya

So I went to Seoul....

Even though this was planned before I decided to take my hiatus, my trip to Seoul was extremely well timed.


That's right, I took a trip to Seoul!

I could probably bore/interest you with some facts about Seoul, largest city in Korea and has 25% of the South Korean population in its city limits or whatever; however, that would only be a small part of my weekend trip. And stop being lazy, go to Wiki and look it up yourself.

The original intention for my trip up to Seoul was to have some American food.

Breakfast food.

That hassle was real

It had been way too long since I had American breakfast food and I was really missing it. Like really missing it. Missing it so much, I made a whole weekend trip to go get some.

Okay...sort of planned a trip.

True story, I was kind of freaking out about the whole time.

Packed bus to Seoul

Sure, I've gone to Daegu many times, since I barely live an hour away from it...but Seoul? That's  basically a three hour drive. In fact...I think it was more...?

Gongcha and bus riding

And while I've been in country for three months by then, public transportation is still very daunting for someone who rarely used it. Back home, I have my own car. I was very privileged in that fact. I had a car since I was of age. And...school buses aren't really public transportation.


So, yeah.

I had to figure out the online reservation, which surprise of all suprises, the English site does not work. You can only make reservations via the Korean version. Am I the only one who thinks that's...odd? I wonder how common this is? Are sites in America like this as well? What about other countries?

Empty bus to Geochang

Figuring out the ticket system took a hot minute. I had to ask other foreign teachers, 'brah, what do?' I did find out that if you use google chrome as your browser, it'll translate most of the site for you, so that was a small blessing. But you have to be careful. It translates a lot of things into literal translations. Particularly city names. Moments like these, it's good to have a grasp in Hangul.

Most of the reservation is self-explanatory, but then the purchasing part is a little different than what I was familiar with. Instead of entering the CVV code (those 3 numbers on the back of the card), I had to enter the first two digits of my 4-digit passcode as a card password?

A literal process.

Do I look tired?

But doable.

It just takes patience and not being afraid to ask for help.

Bus ticket aside...I got to Seoul easy enough, but very exhausted. It was after a long day at work (taught 6 lessons that day, because Fridays are a day to overwork yourself??), and then I had to find my friend.

Who was lost.

At a different bus terminal.

Thankfully in Seoul.

I made sure that we went over the Metro protocol Saturday.

It's as if this post has only been focusing on transportation...doesn't it? I haven't even gotten started on the taxi life...but I'll save that for a different post. But, most of my taxi experiences have been good and reasonably priced!

Now, let's talk Seoul...shall we?

Just the Oncology building at
Severance Hospital. SO BIG.

Since I was already in Seoul, I made an appointment with Severance Hospital. One of the very few hospitals Fulbright ETAs can go to where we don't have to worry about the two to six month reimbursement process. I had an appointment for my foot since it was now going on for 3 weeks of PAIN.

I couldn't wake up without my Achilles aching in pain. Or walk up stairs. Or play soccer. Or volleyball. Probably the reason I ended up tearing my muscle while playing soccer too.

This burger gave me life

Severance Hospital...oh my god. I don't even know how to explain it. It's huge and wonderful and I'm pretty sure it's also a mall? I had maybe one of the best burgers there.

Anyways, I had my foot checked out and found out I had tendinitis. I was told one month of 'no soccer, no volleyball, no hiking'.

Me: lol, k.

As soon as November hits, I'm going to go on a nice, relaxing hike. Enjoy nature and all that.

Outside of the hospital, we found a random music festival and looked around in some shopping options but didn't get too crazy into it. Personally, I felt very overwhelmed with how shopping happens here. In the states and Germany (the two places I'm familiar with), everything (literally, EVERYTHING) wasn't displayed for you to look through right on the shelves. But here....it's just all...there. I guess it has something with not having a 'back area' or something? Spacing difficulties? I probably need to look at stores one or four more times before I would feel comfortable/know what I want to buy.

So yeah. Overwhelming.

I did see a sale on face masks though. 1+1 (BOGO in America), I got 30 face masks for 15,000원. Yes, I literally paid $0.44 for one face mask. It was a beautiful moment.

And then finally Sunday came around...

Breakfast.

We went to the Original Pancake House in Itaewon (barely a five minute walk from the Metro stop). I will let the pictures do most of the talking, but I will say this. If you're looking for a place that serves Ihop-styled food....this is the place to go while being in Korea.

Sooooo, worth it. 

And not to worry! All of the employees speak English and the menu is in English (and Korean). I will definitely be making a trip again...maybe in November...after my hiking day?

What I haven't mentioned: The crazy thing Friday Night at 7/11.

#SaveOurToya